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Skinny Bitchin’

Skinny Bitchin’

We already know her legendary book “Skinny Bitch” (and it’s billions of follow ups; from cookbooks to booty bouncing workout vids) will change your life, here the girl behind the book answers some disjointed and odd questions from her dreams of starring on “Survivor” to forgiving the jerk off who stole her cash.   And if you haven’t read ALL her books, seriously, get the hell on it.   Each one is more informative, funny, and brilliant than the next.


What are you reading? I just finished reading the book The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine, M.D; so friggin’ fascinating. It explains everything. I’ve been walking around feeling a little bad about how crazy I am, but now, after reading this book, it all makes sense. I even feel like men aren’t total assholes or shitheads-they are just profoundly different than us and they cannot help but act the way they do anymore than we can help how we behave. I truly believe this book could save a lot of relationships. Run, don’t walk, to the library or bookstore.

Do you watch reality TV, and would you ever take a gig on a reality tv show (like our Founder Chloe did, ten years ago)? Speaking of walking around a being a little crazy…Before reality TV even existed, I distinctly remember walking around as a child with the notion that I was being filmed somehow. Perhaps it was a result of all the TV I watched, perhaps it was that I didn’t get enough attention, perhaps, even back then, I was a total fuckin’ narcissist. Whatevs. The way it translates into my pseudo-adult life: I always try and imagine which reality show I’d be on now if I had my druthers: The Bachelorette, Survivor, and Dancing With The Stars. I’m pretty sure I’d never actually want to be on any of them, but I like toying with the idea. Survivor would be my top pick, but the lack of vegan food, the prolonged sun exposure, the bugs and snakes, and being cold, wet, and dirty 24/7…don’t think I could handle it. But if there was some assurance of vegan food rewards at every challenge, I’d really think about it. (Although, I also don’t like the challenges where people get tackled and stuff. Too rough for this little Jew.) If I were on The Bachelorette, I’d probably regret that decision within two to five minutes. I can’t imagine anything scarier than dating on TV. Blech. DWTS would certainly be fun, but altogether too much work. I’m not sure I have it in me to work that hard. Those guys perform for six weeks straight. Six weeks! It took three days of shooting for the Skinny Bitch workout DVDs and I wanted to die. (I didn’t really want to die; it was actually really, really fun. Just friggin’ exhausting.)

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What do you regret? It can be exhausting to have regrets. I generally try not to have regrets. But sometimes, you sort of just have to indulge the regret for a few weeks before you can move on. Like the time I got scammed by this total asshole loser con artist, who got me to the tune of $7000. I could tell there was something creepy and weird and “off” about this guy, but for whatever reason, I ignored those instincts. And I totally regretted that. Not just ’cause it cost me all that money, but because I felt so stupid for having been duped by such a total asshole loser. I was so embarrassed when it first happened and didn’t want people to know. Now I know I have nothing to be ashamed of. He was an immoral, pathetic, parasitic loser. I was being generous and trusting and trying to help someone. And I’ve learned a valuable lesson about honoring my instincts that I’ll hopefully never have to learn again. Sure, it was a painful mistake. And I spent many a day imagining scenarios in which I’d run into him in public places and humiliate him. (Other fantasies including breaking into his apartment and pissing shitting all over everything he owned, deflating one of his car tires every single night so he had to wake up to a flat every morning, and buying billboard space on Sunset Boulevard to post his picture and name and the words: CON ARTIST.) For a few weeks, I felt so violated and vulnerable, like, “Shit, are there all sorts of bad people in the world and I’ve been walking around like a total naive fool?”   I’m over that now. I believe that for the most part, people are yummy. And I trust myself to spot the good apples from the rotten ones. But should a few bad apples fall through the cracks undetected, so be it. Life is all about learning. And you don’t get smarter without a few hard knocks.
There’s something liberating about publicly confessing your foolishness and hanging your poopy drawers out for the whole world to see. Anyone else want to share her tales of woe here? We can all learn from (and be entertained by) each other! Tell us what you did, but be sure to end “on the bright side” with what you learned.

Rory Freedman, a former agent for Ford Models, is a self-taught “know-it-all” who has studied diet, health, traditional, and holistic nutrition for more than ten years. She lives in Los Angeles.

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