We know many of our vegan brethren are anti-breeding (for humans in addition to animals) and their reasoning makes perfect sense to us. But not everything in life is done with sense, and some of us here at GGA HQ felt the deep longing and nonsensical desire to birth a few of our own flesh n’ blood nuggets (sorry, world.) That said, this article is enough to make anyone sane want to adopt, that is before your selfish biological clock starts punching you in the ovaries and your husband starts cutting holes in the condoms. Dina McQueen, author of Finding Aster: Our Ethiopian Adoption Story, shares 8 damn good reasons why adoption should be a first choice rather than a last resort for growing your family.
Adoption First
I am a forty-nine year old adoptive mother of a young Ethiopian girl. This is who I am today. Though there was a time when I did not know who I was, or what I wanted out of life. Because I spent my twenties and thirties figuring out the things I needed to know in order for me to become a conscious parent, by the time I realized I did not want to die without experiencing motherhood, it was too late to give birth.
At forty-five I had a hysterectomy. A year later, my husband and I adopted Aster. Though we did not know then what we do now about adoption, over the years I have come to understand how important our decision was to grow our family through adoption. Below, you will find eight important reasons to choose adoption first.
1. $4 Billion a year is spent on fertility treatments
If a woman/couple finds that they are not getting pregnant naturally, they can choose to seek medical help. The doctor will offer tests, drugs, artificial insemination, or assisted reproductive technology (ART), or a combination of the above. In most cases infertility is treated with drugs or surgery. Each of these options costs money. An August, 2009 report, found at MSPnews.com, states that, ³The Œbaby business¹ is booming.¹² Certainly with each IVF cycle costing approximately $12,000 and most people requiring more than one try, it¹s easy to see how the numbers can be so astronomical. Even if 2008 saw $4.04 billion handed over to this business, and the recession may have caused the numbers to drop in later years, it is obvious that the cost of trying to become pregnant via medical intervention is high.
2. There is less than 50% chance of birthing a healthy baby when paying for Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART)
In 1992, the CDC instilled The Fertility Clinic Success Rate and Certification Act (FCSRCA) that mandates clinics who offer ART annually to disclose their success rates. In 2009, it was reported that women who underwent ART aged 43-44 ended up with a live birth only 5% of the time. It rose to 12% for ages 41-42; 22% ages 38-40; 32% ages 35-37; and still only 41% for women under 35.
3. There are nearly half a million children in the U.S. foster care system
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children’s Bureau reported that on September 30, 2010, there were 408,425 children in foster care. Nearly 25,000 of these children were under the age of one, with the average age estimated at about nine years old.
4. Too many foster kids ³age out² every year, and are left without a source of support as they enter the world as adults
An April 2010 NPR report told that nearly 30,000 teens aged-out of the foster care system that year.
5. There are an estimated 140+ million orphaned children worldwide, whose parents have either died or are too poor and/or ill to care for them
6. It is known to be true that adoptive parents who do not use a fertility doctor to help them become parents and instead go straight to adoption experience more satisfaction as new parents
For my book, Finding Aster: Our Ethiopian adoption story, I interviewed many women who underwent some kind of fertility treatment. One couple spent more than $50,000 in attempt to parent a child that came from their DNA. Finally, after incalculable emotional stress, the interviewee shared that her husband said, ³Let¹s just adopt.² She further went on to disclose, ³People who are fertile don¹t have any idea how bad it is. I can¹t even talk to people in the fertile world because they have no clue. I¹ve had two years of therapy, and I could use five more.²
By going straight to adoption, rather than spending years and tens of thousands of dollars, she perhaps would not have felt such a strong need to ³heal² emotional wounds of being labeled ³infertile.²
7. Growing evidence is proving that fertility drugs can cause breast and other reproductive cancers
One of the women that I interviewed spent five years getting hormone supplements. Though she did finally give birth to a healthy girl, she is sure that the drugs caused her breast cancer. ³I’m convinced that in about twenty years‹if not sooner‹we will see a huge rise in breast cancer linked to fertility hormone treatments. Š It¹s pretty obvious: if you shoot yourself up with estrogen, your body is likely to rebel.²
8. By 2050, the population on this planet is predicted to be unable to support human life as we know it
Although I do not consider myself a public spokeswoman for voluntarily extinguishing the human impulse to procreate, there certainly is enough evidence out there for me to promote adoption as a first choice for growing a family. See: overpopulation.org and populationinstitute.org.
Though it is likely true that each person reading this article either knows somebody who has hired a fertility doctor or has done so her/himself, it is probably not true about adoption. Nearly all of the people I know who have adopted children to grow their families first tried to have a baby using artificial means, either via drugs or insemination. Though it is my belief that every woman has a right to control her own body, it is also my belief that as part of the human family, we each have a responsibility to act with kindness and respect to our neighbor. Which, for me, means becoming mindful of how what I do affects how you live.
This can translate to something as simple as when a person adopts a child as a last resort, the child may grow up feeling unwanted, which can lead to a citizen that does not contribute to the greater good. But how a person makes a choice can also manifest in a larger arena, and by this I mean the sustainability of our planet. When a woman¹s body does not become pregnant without medical intervention, I strongly believe that (after a period of mourning, if need be) she should consider becoming a parent via adoption.
I see a win/win situation here: Avoid health/emotional/relationship/financial risk, while giving a parentless child a forever family. It is my intent to share with others the importance of doing what is in front of one¹s face, to help them accept what is and choose adoption first.
DINA MCQUEEN is the 2006 New Mexico Discover Award winner for fiction, and a graduate of Vermont¹s Goddard College with a M.A. in Biography/Autobiography. In addition to spending her life with her daughter Aster, now 4-years-old, and husband Brian, she helps writers find their inner voice as a writers¹ coach and editor. She lives with her family in Santa Fe, New Mexico.