A few days ago I recieved an email that I get in different forms pretty regularly.
It read as follows;
“Hey…just wanted to let you know I watched Oprah yesterday (except for the RUDE news interruption). My Husband even watched the last 30 minutes of it. WOW! Can’t tell you how upsetting it was to watch the cows heading for their demise, and worse…watching what they do to them! I was literally sick to my stomach! I asked my Husband if he minded if I didn’t eat meat anymore, and he told me to do whatever I want to do, just not to push it on him. So….I am going to be making a conscious effort to stay away from all of that. I am going to challenge myself. Any input and suggestions, and HELP would be much appreciated.”
The positive of these emails is that people are being enlightened en masse to the hideous realities of factory farming. The emails come in fast and furious. People are changing. Veganism is more popular than ever. People are experimenting with vegan living in droves, and getting involved in animal rights. These are all fantastically positive things. And I’m happy to help them, everyone, every time. But why do women in particular always accept their Husband’s “don’t push it on me!” comments. Isn’t that the same thing homophobes say about gay folks? “Hey, it’s cool.. as long as you don’t push it on me” and “That’s fine, for those sort of people.” And in essence, isn’t that in itself the most offensive thing you could possibly say? “Hey, I’m fine with black folks, just don’t want my kid to marry one.” “Muslim folks are fine, just keep them out of my schools.” And it goes on. Apologizing for who you are – who you were born to be – is never okay. Apologizing for doing something positive in the world? Why?
What does “push it on me” even mean in terms of veganism? Don’t show you where your meat comes from? Don’t offer you a vegan cupcake? Don’t mention your evolution? Don’t offer you information? Just stay in your quiet little Betty Crocker corner and keep your trap shut.. as long as it doesn’t interrupt my Sunday football and chicken wings. Makes you want to roll your eyes and say “I’m so sorry our veganism – which serves the animals, people, and the environment – is so distasteful to you.” And that’s really what it is – fear of the unknown. Hatred of black folks, gay folks, jewish folks, vegan folks, women, et all really just stems from fear. Fear of anything that creates waves of change, which is how anything good in the world has ever happened.
It bears repeating that;
“A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has. ” Margaret Mead
Convenient Vegan on VeganSoapBox.com says;
We vegans have all met people who take our veganism personally. They become defensive when we mention that we don’t eat meat or use any animal products. Some might go directly to the attack: “You think you’re saving the world?” or “Well I’m never going to stop eating meat”. This last spoken as a challenge. I have often asked what’s the deal here? All I said was I don’t eat meat. I didn’t ask them what they ate or didn’t eat, I didn’t challenge anyone to a duel. What if I had said “I don’t eat mustard”? Would the reaction be the same? Why not?
My very own Husband, Jeremy Davis (now a staunch vegan and committed activist,) once said the very same thing to me. In fact it was more aggressive; “Don’t try and turn me into some namby-pamby vegetarian.” My response was calm and calculated. “I’ll never mention veganism again if you watch this one film called Peaceable Kingdom and let me know what you think. You love animals. And me. So if you love me, you respect my opinion, and would want to know why I am this way.” He watched the film, cried like crazy for hours, and never again ate an animal or any of their secretions. Now that is a MAN.
We all come to our own aha moments in our time. I get that. But, ladies and germs, never apologize for doing the right thing. Don’t step down. Don’t hide away. You are making waves in the ocean, you are the change-makers, the seekers, the true hearted warriors. Your commitment to doing what you know to be right – to not harm for any reason – is the goddesses and angels work. People say they love animals, they’d never hurt their dog, they think Michael Vick is a prick… and then happily chomp on their morning bacon and sip on their milk.
“The beef industry has contributed to more American deaths than all the wars of this century, all natural disasters, and all automobile accidents combined. If beef is your idea of “real food for real people” you’d better live real close to a real good hospital.” Dr. Neal Barnard
It’s incongruous. We know it is. And we should always say something. Because if we don’t, the meat industry is happy to step in and offer our obese children another happy meal.
“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. ” Elie Wiesel
Take sides, people. I know I have. That’s why I started this site and newsletter over twelve years ago. Use your mouths, that’s what we have them for – to speak up! This is, at the end of the day, a battle for good and evil – and you are doing the right thing. If someone doesn’t get on board with you eventually, they may not have the same kind of heart and commitment to equality and compassion that you do. Do you really want to be with that person? I personally wouldn’t. I’d never date a non-vegan who saw the footage, read the books, and really was educated and still pushed off going all the way. I’m just that kind of gal who likes a (well, one in particular!) hardcore guy.
Don’t apologize – EVER – for doing what is right. Find your inner badass, and stand up and let yourself be counted for.