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Jewish Women: You Need To Sleep

Jewish Women: You Need To Sleep

We hear you, we get it, we feel it ourselves – this is a living hell.  Every mother was us. Every child brutally massacred, our own. The agony is never ceasing.  The photos and videos of savagely murdered Jewish families and young teens will play over again and and again in our minds for eternity. Never again is indeed now.  The silence of our “friends” and the knife twisted assault of the radical left in the media has made it ten times worse.  In the meantime none of us are sleeping or eating, and that is why I’m writing. I’ve fielded hundreds of calls, emails, dm’s, and comments on social media from my fellow Jewish sisters saying they have barely taken a sip of water in a week, and I’m worried about YOU, motek.

We must do the opposite.  Time to put on our oxygen masks. We must strengthen ourselves for the antisemitism that lies ahead.  We must sleep. We must eat.  We must move. We must partake in Jewish Joy – a mitzvah and a necessary part of survival. Our entire global Jewish community is in a period of shloshim – 30 days of mourning following a death. The majority of the deaths were young innocents and babies. The holocaust trauma DNA pulsing through all our veins is what is keeping us up all night. We are in fight or flight.  Every Jewish person we know is in danger by simply existing.  So how do we carry on the now necessary fight to demand our survival?

We are no good if weak – we have all cried now for two weeks. It’s time to ACTION UP. Get strong, Get vocal. Do not let them kill our neshamas or terrorize our lives for one more second. That is their goal – beyond death. For us to all be afraid in the West, as we all know it’s not just Jews they want dead – it’s the end of modernity terrorists want most.

So how do we fall into slumber or find sparks of joy?

It won’t be easy, but now is the time to accept assistance and go towards the strong voices – it looks like this:


  • Take melatonin or ambien. Tackle the world’s horrors in the am. Any Doctor worth their weight in salt will prescribe you ambien right now if you need it. Want a drug free route? Natrol has tons of melatonin-free sleep aids on amazon here. Add weighted blankets, sleep sprays, heating pads, soft sheets, and someone to cuddle with – furry or human.
  • If that doesn’t work – try a weed gummy. They are legal to buy online or locally – depending on your State-  and they work, minus any hangover. Scroll down to “cannabis and cbd” on our list here, grab a discount code, and know they will arrive discreetly and quickly via mail. Nobody needs to know what you need to do to get through the day right now. Do what you have to do.
  • For those of you with kids: Let your partner take on the morning routine with the kids and/ or animals so you can sleep on the nights you are truly up all night. You must find your window for body rest. No if’s, ands, or buts. Prioritize mental wellness via sleep.
  • For those of you with kids: Sleep after you drop off your kids to school – wake up with a newfound strength.
  • Watch dumb reality tv at bedtime – NOT THE NEWS – that can wait til the morning light.
  • Vent to your friends and close allies in the daylight so by the time the evening rolls around – you’ve mulled over all the possibilities of where this is going to go and you can release with not much left to say.
  • Sex. Yea – we said it. It’s a mitzvah, a release, AND a serotonin booster. Plus – JEWISH JOY!
  • Walk, exercise, yoga during the day – move your body however you can. Even if it’s just laundry up and down the stairs – the more we move, the more happy chemicals are released by our brain. However you can handle moving – do that.
  • Look at the faces of children, play with a baby, cuddle a dog – now is a good time to foster a puppy or cat from your local animal shelter (mitzvah + joy sparks!!). Learn more about fostering here.
  • Call your therapist, do a session,  do two. If you don’t have a therapist – get one. They are easily accessed online, and we are happy to recommend one in your neck of the woods.
  • Take meds if you need them. Some of us are predisposed to depression or anxiety – get ahead of that now. Get on a good SSRI, stay on a stabile dose. ZERO shame in that game! SSRI’s should be in the water. Need to hurry that along? Try hers – it’s all online and extremely discreet.
  • Ask your Jewish friends to come sit on your couch, plan a shabbat where all you do is light candles and order a pizza if that is all you can do. Cry together. This is how the healing happens.
  • Take a gummy or have a glass of wine (pick your poison) to “come down” late afternoon – the world can wait. This is our luxury not being on the front lines.
  • RAISE MONEY! Start a fundraiser for an organization helping those affected in Israel – there are endless options from those who help children across the region to those helping animals displaces by the massacre – find your passion non profit and get REAL loud fundraising. Action is the anecdote to despair! You’ll be exhausted by the end of the day after all that outreach.
  • GO TO COMMUNITY! This one is crucial, and quite honestly don’t complain unless you take this step.  This is the time to join a synagogue – even if you are “not religious”. There is a pot for every lid, and a temple for every timbre.  There is reform Judaism and Orthodox Judaism and everything in between.  Even if you just attend the vigils, mixers, and fundraisers – you will find comfort. No excuses – join one now. You need them, and they need you.
  • Mr Rodgers said “Look for the helpers” – stick to friends taking ACTION, be inspired by their activism and onboard yourself. Ask them how you can help. Dump the friends taking selfies who haven’t said a word about Israel – they are not your people. For each “friend”  you lose, you will be blessed by an active voice deeply invested in your survival.
  • Feeling helpless? You are NOT. Enlighten your neighbors, sign petitions, attend peaceful rallies, share memes, like new Jewish voices and influencers on social media, and – this one is crucial – BLOCK and unfollow the haters. You are under NO obligation to allow hatred to fill your every corner of your interweb. YOU are in control of what YOU see. Influencers/ larger voices: you are under NO obligation to let hate exist on your platform. Delete it, and delete it fast.
  • For those of you with kids: Let your kids sleep with you – don’t play the putting them back in their own beds game right now. They need you, and are feeling our pain. If they move you out of your own bed – get into theirs. Now is not the time to beat yourself up around schedules. Do whatever sits right in your bones.
  • Join the organizations that help you feel empowered. For us, that’s JewBelong, Stop Antisemitism, ADL, IDF, and so many others. Join all their mailing lists, and follow them all on social media. The more rational voices you have around you, the better.  We are on social media – follow and join us there too. You can join our mailing list in the little box below this article.

This is a marathon, not a sprint, and complacency won’t help. It’s time to get active. Over time, we will get back to “normal” – but it will be a new normal and no – we will never be the same.  We will, however, be stronger as a Jewish global community then ever before. And that, my friends, is worth a good soul-filling shluff gezunt.

We leave you with a heart-aching half-laugh from David Frum:

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Photo by Ben Blennerhassett on Unsplash

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