Cannabis is saving my sex life, and that’s a surprising statement to come from a woman who has been in a monogamous, heterosexual relationship for five plus years. I’m not exactly the person you’d pick off the street to say such a thing. I’m from Orange County (the conservative part of California), have a full time job, generally avoid people for books and cats, and most importantly, didn’t experiment with cannabis until my thirties. So how it found its way into my bedroom is anyone’s guess.
Perhaps in my early twenties, when I was in my wilder years, this would have been more likely. But when I think of what I considered a good time then, mainly hooking up with handsome strangers and/or crying trying not to text an ex after too many cocktails, I don’t know if I would have tried to enhance sex either. I was just trying to have as much of it as possible, quality didn’t come into the picture until later.
Cannabis is intoxicating like alcohol, and therefore can lessen any inhibitions one might have come sexy time. However, unlike alcohol, cannabis doesn’t give me a huge hangover, sap my skin, or give me an emotional breakdown. It does however, make me want to eat cheetos and watch bad reality tv, which shockingly isn’t an activity that exactly gets me in the mood for lovemaking. While some report a healthy libido after imbibing cannabis, that’s never been my experience.
I never feel bad about these sessions, because my partner and I are incredibly comfortable with each other. He’s smart, funny, handsome, accomplished, you know, all the things you want in a couch buddy. Over the years though, the sex was beginning to get predictable, and I wasn’t wanting to have it very often. It was a problem, and one I was committed to fixing. Everyone deserves a healthy, happy sex life. Even an introvert who would happily watch Downton Abbey on loop like me.
So I went to sleuthing on my own, but most of the suggestions I found to enhance my sex life didn’t fit my lifestyle:
Try a threesome. Who has time to plan that?
Try anal. It can be messy is all I’ll say.
Try intricate sex positions? What am I, a pretzel?
I was starting to think I was destined for vanilla sex, something my younger self would have executed me over.
I eventually found a brand called Lavinia, who make a cannabis powered silicone lubricant called oh.hi that promised easier to obtain and more powerful orgasms. Not being able to remember my last orgasm that wasn’t from a vibrator, I decided to give it a shot. Emotionally prepared for it not to work, and ready to resign my cannabis use for sleep and reality television, I gave it a shot with low expectations.
My mind was blown. It wasn’t just that the product made orgasms easier and better, but it did and that was definitely great. It was how it made the rest of sex feel that was magical. When you’ve been with the same person for five years, it doesn’t matter how attractive you find them or how good in bed they are. Repetition comes in, and if most of your sexual experience is from semi anonymous passionate romps like it was for me, it can be tough to stay in the moment when it’s no longer novel. That’s how I understood sex in my twenties. Thankfully, Lavinia got me rethinking pleasure, and with someone I felt really safe with.
Using oh.hi made everything feel special again with how sensitive it made me. More than that, because it felt so good instantaneously, I was able to stay in the moment and enjoy it in a way that kept me in a constant state of pleasure. In the past, I might have let my mind wander into what I wanted for dinner, will I get enough sleep, and what about that one e-mail I didn’t answer.
So how does it work? Cannabis enhances blood flow, which when applied properly through a lube like oh.hi, enhances your sense of touch. You have to wait 15-30 minutes for it to take effect (CURSE YOU BIOLOGY), but thankfully, I’m not hooking up with someone I’m in a rush to kick out ASAP. This is my partner, we like the same tv. I can discreetly apply and in half an episode, I’m ready to go. Again and again if you catch my drift.
A cannabis lube, which may seem on par with something as extreme as a Hitachi, is completely safe and discreet. It’s not painful or radical. If you can pick up lube at Target, which you totally can, you can and should find your way to get a bottle of oh.hi. They’re in California dispensaries now, but are preparing to expand! It makes everything feel like the first time, but now, you’re confident, know what you like, and aren’t distracted by anything but pleasure.
Alexa Oliphant is a Los Angeles based book slut, history enthusiast, and overwhelmingly snarky bon vivant. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing, a Master’s Degree in English, and is a certified pourer of Guinness. Oliphant has served as a fiction and poetry editor for numerous publications, but these days mostly writes about pop culture (books count), food/drink, and cannabis. When not weaving narratives, Alexa plays virtual reality with her boyfriend or pretends technology is nonexistent by reading with her cats in her lap.