Thursday, January 17th, 2019

The Road to Beauty Ain’t Always Pretty

Published on April 27, 2011 by   ·   8 Comments Pin It

I have had quite a journey with beauty. In seventh grade I wanted to be a model and even went to modeling school. (You gotta love it! Only a looks-obsessed teenager would dream this up at 5’3”.) In high school, I downplayed it for the girls and worked it for the boys. By college, I was in full-tilt beauty rebellion. My clothes were four sizes too big (and my body was three sizes too big), make-up was nowhere to be found and my armpit hair was longer than the hair on my head! And let’s not even discuss my leg hair. My boyfriend and I had matching shaved heads. (He’s now my husband, bless his heart; he loved me for me! And sorry, there are strangely no pictures from that era or I’d share). And here was the best part, I decided that eating whatever I wanted to eat was a feminist issue and that exercise was only for shallow people.

Ahh youth. Well, I have grown up a little bit, and so has my context for beauty. I am no longer offended by the fact the world cares; yes, even I care. I now understand that what impresses people about beauty goes far beyond the symmetry of a face, the shininess of hair and the brightness of eyes. Beauty is the result of and demonstrates self-respect, and we are rightfully impressed by self-respect. After many years, I got really into caring about myself as a way to grow up and respect myself, not something superficial at all.

Laurie Gerber shares her beauty journey

You may already care about being beautiful as a way to manipulate people to pay attention to you, or you may be making a point of not caring, or you may have given up. Wherever you are on your beauty journey, I invite you to consider dropping your cultural, historical, familial, political and personal baggage and come back into the conversation from a much more spiritual perspective.

When you dig through all that crap, you will find a bunch of really bad logic and silly laws you are living by, like:

• I only need to dress up when I go to special functions
• I can eat whatever I want
• It just feels so good to pick my pimples
• My hair can wait another week
• My nails can wait another week
• My teeth can wait another year
• My body can’t be any better than this
• I’m too old
• It will never work
• I’ll never sustain it, so what’s the point?
• There are no good outfits in my closet
• I don’t have the time or money to look good

I could go on and on, and so could you. Call BS on all that.

Now, remember a time when you felt gorgeous. What was your practice? What did you do for yourself? There was a time when you cared and you did things for yourself, and it made you feel good. This is not about external validation; this is about the pride that comes from designing how your relationship to yourself should be and then acting on it.

Feeling proud and great is about taking back the reigns: changing your thinking, the laws you live by and then your habits and practices. The minute you change a habit, you feel better.

Here are just a few I suggest, to get you started:

• Make a bedtime
• Slather yourself in lotion once a day
• Make an appointment with your hair stylist, manicurist, dermatologist, etc.
• Drink eight glasses of water a day
• Stop touching your face
• Get that product you’ve been dying to try and commit to the full cycle
• Take your supplements dammit
• Add leafy greens to your diet
• At home pedicure anyone?
• Learn or return to meditation
• And of course my best beauty tip: tell the truth

When you take better care of yourself, you feel better and you look prettier. Try it and report back.

Personal Integrity is the true key to beauty. Pride is sexy. Confidence is beautiful. You deserve it. It’s finally spring; time to uncover you, show yourself and shine!

Here’s lookin’ at you!



P.S. – We’ve designed a one-day, urban retreat on this exact topic: Uncover YOU will be on Saturday, May 7 in NYC. If you can’t attend this live workshop, consider the Dream Body teleseminar on Thursday, May 5.

Laurie Gerber is President of the Private Coaching Division of The Handel Group™ and an expert life coach herself. Passionate about personal development, Laurie oversees 20 coaches and has been working with individuals and groups herself for the past 10 years. Public speaking, tele-seminars, blogging, radio and TV are her current favorite modalities for bringing the Handel Method® to the world.

Leave a comment below and a winner will be chosen at random on May 4, 2011 to attend the Dream Body teleseminar on May 5 at 8pm EST!I

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Readers Comments (8)

  1. Jess says:

    I always feel better about myself if my hair looks ok. Now I just need to do it every day! Thanks for the inspiration!

  2. Frani says:

    I always feel so good when I take myself to a yoga class and start doing things that I truly love doing. I also feel good when I take good care of my skin, eat amazing healthy food for my body and make myself good just because I want to!

  3. shannonmarie says:

    Since my second child was born (she’ll be 2 in August), I became a stay-at-home mom. In the beginning, it was hard to find time for myself, but now that I have a better handle on things, I still find it important to shave, shower and look nice … even when I have no plans of leaving the house. It just makes me feel better and builds my confidence. I encourage other moms to do the same thing. Great post!

  4. Linda says:

    I feel beautiful when I’m showering at my gym, exercise makes me feel so great afterwards! I’m terrible at dressing like a slob when I’m stressed or busy but I love to dress up. Honestly, I feel more beautiful now that I’ve stopped shaving.

  5. Adriana says:

    Make a bedtime is one I needed to be reminded of! For me it is the more sexy I feel through my truth the more comfortable I feel in clothes. I do not feel comfortable unless a lot of my skin is showing but I hate the negative attention it draws. Lately I realized just bc I hate it doesn’t mean I didn’t really want it and that is what is making a shift for me.
    I don’t have to dress like a hoe but I would rather be at the beach.
    thank you
    your truth is inspiring.

  6. Thank you for all these wonderful and helpful comments.

  7. Rachel says:

    I like how simple the suggestions are, it makes them more doable, which is really helpful because I know when I’m feeling bummed the one thing that makes me feel better is to be proactive, to get out and do something. I actually just made an appointment to get my hair cut and colored, which is something I don’t do very often, and I’m looking forward to it!

  8. So glad I am inspiring action. The key to self-confidence is actually being able to make and keep promises to yourself. This is exactly what we teach at the Handel Group™ with miraculous results.

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