Tuesday, November 13th, 2018

The Case For Taking A Vacation Without Your Kids

Published on June 23, 2010 by   ·   6 Comments Social Buttons by Linksku - Share links onlinePin It

Business woman and Mamazon of two, Amy Abrams, is here to convince you to go on a vacation… without your kids;

While my last post espoused the importance of ignoring most advice, I have decided to continue to dole out advice. That being said – my “advice” will not be in the form of “you should” but rather I will use this opportunity to share some of my thoughts and experiences as a mom / partner-wife / business owner. Take it for what it’s worth and remember, we are all a work in progress.

Today’s theme  is about how important it is to take vacations without your children. I will offer a few  child care options in a minute but let me first weigh in about my experience taking vacations without my kids.

I'll pack for you, Grandma has better snacks.

I have found that an annual vacation (ranging from a night to a weekend to 10 days) with my husband is a lot of fun! Yeah, yeah we missed our kids but that was part of the fun. Every anniversary we visit a new destination, anniversary breaks are something my husband and I really enjoy. Especially having a break from the kids! At first, they were the central topic of conversation but we quickly  remembered all the other fun things we liked to talk about together. For my husband and me, getting out of the routine of our child care duties made it easy to chill out, indulge in more than one glass of wine, enjoy being on a long date with the thrill of anticipating fooling around as often as we wanted to and for as long as we wanted to, and of course being able to sleep late and lay around in bed reading and hanging out. While I love my husband year round, there is something about getting away together that helps us really enjoy each others company in ways we did before we had kids.

Its really fun when we arent fighting over who scooped the cat litter.

It's really fun when we aren't fighting over who scooped the cat litter.

I found I had time and space to see things in my husband that on a daily basis I may overlook. I remember how lucky I am and how we are deeply connected outside of our common connection with our kids. And did I mention how much   fun we have together? The last getaway was a night and day in NYC – and we found that 24 hours can do the trick. But we have also spent a week in Buenos Aires and weekends in Vieques, Barbados and Copenhagen since having our kids four years ago. And I truly believe it is as beneficial for my kids as it was for us. They love when their grandparents come to visit, they love seeing us on skype, they love seeing our pictures and opening the presents we bring home for them. And they love when we come home. And we do, too. We have found, a little distance has helped keep us all on track.
And now to address the “who will watch my kids if my Partner and I go away” or for the single moms out there who want some time to themselves. There are many people who cannot afford or do not have access to child care. This is certainly more challenging but I would propose swapping with a friend – you watch each others kid(s) so each of you can enjoy a kid free vacation. For some, Grandparents are a totally under utilized resource. In our experience, we have found that our kids have developed really strong relationships with their grandparents when they get so much quality and concentrated time together. For us, what’s the worst thing that has happened? Grandma let’s them stay up too late and eat too much ice cream.  In our family, that seems to work out perfectly for all members involved and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Amy Abrams is the co-founder of In Good Company Workplaces, a collaborative workspace and community for women business owners in NYC. Amy is also the co-founder of Artists & Fleas, a marketplace for emerging artists, designers and vintage collectors in Brooklyn. Over the past 10 years, Amy has worked with thousands of individuals to help them launch and grow their own businesses.   Amy lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two girls.

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Readers Comments (6)

  1. Samantha says:

    it is fabulous to hear that you put the effort into making (& enjoying)adult time. i just had my partner leave me because of my child….saying that the adult time only made her angry that there wasn’t more adult time. i am now alone and quite sad. i wish i could have written the blog you just did….it is sweet and i am very happy that there are people out there like you and your love :)

  2. Chrissie Eden Vazquez says:

    This has been a topic of conversation in my household lately, as we’re about to get married (after 5 yrs together) and want to start a family VERY soon. So much talk goes into baby this and kids that and making plans for the adorable evil geniuses we don’t have yet, and even though I’m excited, in the back of my mind…


    I like hanging out with him! We always talk in bed & have a few laughs before we go to sleep, we watch baseball together, take the dog for walks, sit on the front porch and have a beer and listen to the trains rumbling by…it’s a pretty peaceful life with the two of us and our Furbaby. I treasure the time we have together, because it lets us unwind from our crazy days and connect and enjoy being each other’s best friend.

    Some girlfriends of mine, especially with more than one young child, look like Moms on TV–hair all standing up on one side, looking like someone beat them with a wooden spoon, haven’t been able to have an adult conversation about anything but poop and teeth for 2 days–and it’s terrifying!

    What a relief I’m not the only one who values Adult Time enough to want to plan on ditching the kids every once in awhile to have time to be together with your partner and celebrate your relationship and your individuality!

  3. Everyone knows that being a single mom is difficult. Add kids, an airplane, and unfamiliar surroundings, and stress can reach new heights. If you are a single mom and are thinking of taking your children on vacation.

  4. Eileen says:

    I am sending this to my wife to read as it is very hard for us to tear ourselves away from our son for even one night, but it is so needed. My problem is I work full time so I see my son so rarely that vacation is a time for me to catch up with him. So I feel guilty and sad taking vacation without him. But at the same time a marriage really is very very important if you are raising a child together, and it takes time away to keep it strong. Still, it makes me sad that I have to leave him, argh. I guess I wish I had more time with him period, but nothing is going to change anytime soon, someone has to bring home the (veggie) bacon.

  5. […] read more, visit the blog SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: “The Case for Taking a Vacation Without Your Kids”, url: […]

  6. elaine says:

    I recently took a week-long “momcation” — a week without kids OR husband. Highly recommend that, too.

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