‘Tis the season to be horny for life.. if we can get deforestation, climate change, and Trump off the old noggin for enough time to swig some Tito’s that is. We deserve to do good for others and ourselves this time of year, so start with some brain-enhancing, body-empowering, titillating gifts for those you love.
Don’t forget – the best gifts are always hand-crafted, donated, in-kind, or carefully thought out.. but if you don’t have time for all that – here are some of our best buys for 2018!
Merry Kwanzmukah, and a Happy Winter Solstice to us all!
GirlieGirlArmy’s 2018 Holiday Gift Guide
GROWN HUMANS
Wren McMurdo’s Dark Days Tarot Deck, $50-80 @darkdaystarot.comRio Classic Sweatshirt, $78 @thereformation.comVegan Chrome Boot in Rose Gold from Dr. Martens, $120 @mooshoes.comVivetta cat gloves, $102 @farfetch.comVictorinox Swiss Army Classis SD Animal Prints Multi Tool (Leopard) , $21 @amazon.com or sports goods storesTattoo artist designed Enamel Pins, $7 @threekingstattoo.comBreastmilk Heart Open Bangle (using your own breastmilk!), $169 @breastmilkjewelry.comRianne S. Heart Vibrator, $34 @babeland.comBarbarea Bralette in Vintage Cheetah Print, $64/, Ruched Bloomer $38 @clarebare.comOne-of-a-kind Wreaths, prices vary, follow @instagram.com/beadonawireluv to orderIris goddess eau de parfum, £55 @floralstreet.comRuthless Rockette Roller Skates, $154 @dollskill.comMoms Meyer Lemon Tree/ Large Citrus Lemon Tree Bundle, 38″-44″, $105 @seedsoflife.comYou Say “Crazy Cat Lady” Like It’s a Bad Thing Socks by Ann Taintor, $9 @amazon.comUpstate Girls: Unraveling Collar City by Brenda Ann Kenneally, $33 @amazon.com or your local book shopShe is too fond of books and it has turned her brain Louisa May Alcott Recycled Spoon Keychain, $22 @etsy.comMiyoko’s Holiday Gift Box of vegan cheeses, $119 @miyokos.com4 Paw Collection Vegan Chocolate Bars To Benefit Dog Rescue, $25 @rescuechocolate.comMagical Labradorite Earrings, Made With Reiki, $268 @oliadesigns.comProfile Purse, $80 @ingodwetrustnyc.com24×24 Dr. Christine Blasey-Ford “If You Don’t Know, Now You Know” painting by Ashley Longshore, 6k @ashleylongshore.comCruelty Free AF Mug, $13 @rescuefreedomproject.orgVegan Eggnog Loaf, $30 @farmsanctuary.orgAll I want for Christmas is Ruth Bader Ginsburg, $75 @etsy.comAntonym Cosmetics Certified Organic Baked Blush Rose, $36 @lovegoodly.com1 Track Mind Pant, $99 @wearehah.comPersonalized Yarn Bowl, $60 @uncommongoods.comJewish Christmas Candle, $29 @homesickcandles.comKushel – The Towel Made with Wood, 19€ & up @kickstarter.comMiddle Eastern Spice Set, $42 @rawspicebar.comThe Anti-Cookbook: Easy, Thrifty Recipes for Food-Smart Living by Shelley Onderdonk & Rebecca Bloom, $18 @amazon.com or your local booksellerShiitake Mushroom Log Kit, $30 @uncommongoods.comFa La La Llama Cotton Oven Mitt, $13 @modcloth.comWF Workwear Coverall, $188 @wildfang.comMona B Vegan Collection, $34-74 @mona-b.comMedusa B Camel Block Heel Knee High Vegan Boots, $270 @beyond-skin.comEarPods, $159 @apple.comCleanse Ritual Kit, $40 @sivanaspirit.comVintage Rose Pink Glass Plates Set of 5, @shopthebreak.comHand Cup, $18 @amazon.comMusic Showerhead Waterproof Speaker + Bluetooth, $95 @amazon.comSuper Cozy™ Fleece Paw Print Bathrobe, $30 @theanimalrescuesitePrimp and Prime in Rose Gold, $52 @theorganicskinco.comShibori buckwheat and lavender eye pillow, $13 @etsy.comCuddling Foxes embroidery hoop art, $17 @etsy.comThelma & Louise Tees for you and your bestie, $14 each @etsy.comWhy I’m Vegan necklace, $98 @etsy.comNaeem Khan Draped sequined chiffon gown, $3,795 @netaporter.comHanukkah Dreidel Small Crossbody Bag, $15 @amazon.comOrganic LIVfit Superfood Blend with Protein, $16 @betterbodyfoods.comCustom-Knit Reversible Fuck Trump/Resist Beanie, $25 @kathygriffin.comMid Century Modern Classic Rosewood Plywood Lounge Chair & Ottoman With White Premium High Grade PU Vegan Eames Style Replica, $1K @amazon.comThe Sun and Her Flowers Paperback by Rupi Kaur, $12 @amazon.comMug With Strainer & Lid Portable Teacup Heat Resistant Mushroom Cup, $13 @amazon.comBeats Solo3 Wireless On-Ear Headphones – Matte Gold, $299 @amazon.comיישר כחך Be Strong Print, $24 @etsy.comWomen’s Hanukkah Pajama Set – Wondershop™ Blue, $20 @target.comQuilted Koala Adult Backpack: Rose Gold Metallic, $184 @quiltedkoala.comFour Season Vertical Zen Micro Garden Planter, $11 @amazon.comPrimula Cortusoides Dome Paperweight, $60 @catbirdnyc.comBackslash Fit Self-Rolling Smart Yoga Mat, $90 @amazon.comStemless Aerating Wine Glasses by Chevalier Collection, 2 for $50 @amazon.comLionhead Full Size Rolling Tray, $10 @amazon.com123 Organic Blanco Tequila (Uno), $44 @astorwines.comThe Claribel Earring Chain, $48 @catbirdnyc.comVegan Heart Crossover Hoodie Sweatshirt, $22 @etsy.com
Guns N’ Roses Ugly Christmas Sweater, $70 @amazon.comDyson Pure Hot + Cool Link HP02 Wi-Fi Enabled Air Purifier, White/Silver, $439 @amazon.comHeat Holders – Lounge Thermal Non Slip Bed Socks With Grip, $19 @amazon.comBose SoundLink Revolve Portable Bluetooth 360 Speaker, $208 @amazon.comPatagonia Women’s Snap-T™ Fleece Pants, $79 @patagonia.com
LITTLE HANDS
Grimm’s Large Ammonite Snail Shell Figurative Puzzle of Creative Wooden Blocks (4×4 Size) by Grimm’s Spiel and Holz Design, $99 @amazon.com (If you choose not to be an amazon shopper, you can buy the smaller size of this on oompa.com)I Dissent: Ruth Bader Ginsburg Makes Her Mark Hardcover by Debbie Levy & Elizabeth Baddeley, $12 @amazon.com or your local booksellerCreate Your Own Reel Viewer, $30 @uncommongoods.comChild’s Phone Home Bracelet- Scalloped Edge w/ Amber- Heirloom by Doyle & Doyle, $175 @doyledoyle.comFun & Fun Kids Gold Puffer Jacket, $164.02 @childrensalon.comGatcha Gatcha – Bingo Set, €46.00 EUR @kikoandgg.comMonopoly: Fortnite Edition Board Game Inspired by Fortnite Video Gam, $15 @amazon.com or your local toy shopOrganic Eli Crew Neck Sweatshirt, $28 @artandeden.comPantera Stroller, $60 @daphyls.comHarry Potter Sweater Tapestry Pillow, $18 @hottopic.comThe Kids’ Retro-X® Vest is made of pliable 100% polyester (70% recycled) ¼”-pile fleece that’s lined with windproof polyester, $79 @patagonia.comPersonalized Menorah, $54 @etsy.comHolo Kids Umbrella, $30 @hipsterkids.com
TEENS WITH ‘TUDE
Ivory Sherpa “Got Game” Chair – For use with the Xbox, PlayStation, Game Boy and more, it offers up the ultimate experience for serious play time – think built in subwoofers and . $399 @pbteen.comMarshall Compact Fridge, $500 @amazon.comHP Sprocket Portable Photo Printer with additional 20 sheets ZINK Sticky-Backed Photo Paper, $90 @amazon.comRainbow Necklace, $82.82 @tattdevine.com
FURRY FAM
Embark Dog DNA Test, $199 @embark.com (now $40 off!)Holiday Dog Hoodies, $32 @unleashedlife.com OR $38 @amazon.comCustom CBD Relax Snax made to order for your nervous pooch, Prices vary – email [email protected]CatHaven Cat Condo, $137 @amazon.comDonald Trump Dog Chew Toy, $13-15 (size small or large) @amazon.com
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