Wednesday, October 28th, 2020

The Myth of the Perfect Mom

Published on April 30, 2014 by   ·   286 Comments Pin It
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We moms sure are sold a load of crap! All the images of mothers are glorified and sterilized and glamorized. I am not talking about Giselle. We know she is glamorous and we also know she has a team that makes her look that way.

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What about the rest of us, those of us in the trenches of motherhood? Why do we think we have to achieve some unattainable goal as high priestess of motherhood?

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Once in a while I may get what many would call a compliment – and frankly, I let my ego suck it all in for a while and I may hear, “Oh, Leigh Anne, you are an amazing mom!” or “You are a perfect mom!” If this comes from one of my children I will take it and roll around in it for days, even years because I know that it will be followed by some balancing statement like “I hate you, you are the worst mother ever!” And that will be followed by a hug or a request for mommy time. It is all in the job description.

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Please, please, please do not throw that horrible label of PERFECT on me. I am imperfect and I embrace that.

But look at advertising for new parents and you see styled and glamorized images. What do we really look like after a new baby.

Most new moms are in a bit of shock. I hear repeatedly “No one ever told me . . . .”

We hide babies, we hide our breasts, we keep quiet about the dark side of parenting.

I wonder if the dark side would be so dark if people talked about it.

We all read articles on parenting and get help from sites like Mommy Insider when we’re expecting

These sites are amazing and help new moms so much but what things aren’t covered?

Did you know that breastfeeding in the beginning is very time consuming?

Did you know that newborn babies are not typically chubby?

Did you know that you can bleed from your vagina for days and weeks?

Did you know that sometimes you will pass a clump of blood?

Did you know that you may feel angry that you have a baby – not all of the time but some of the time?

Did you know that you would be riding an emotional rollercoaster?

Did you know that sometimes you will plan to take a shower in the morning and the next thing you know it is 7:30pm and you still have spit up and baby shit on you and you have only eaten stale leftover cake that wasn’t even home baked in a flavor you don’t even like?

Did you know that in all of that mess you will look into the eyes of your baby and feel a deep, confusing kind of love? A new protective kind of love?

Did you know that your baby doesn’t give a damn about your hair?

Did you know that your baby just wants to get to know you? He knows you from growing inside you but now that the courtship is settling in he wants to really get to know you. And he wants you to know him. Did you know that some moms fall in love immediately while others take time.

perfect-mom

I think we all want to put on a good face when we go out with our babies. We feel a sense of accomplishment from just having gotten dressed and out of the house. Maybe we feel like we are failing so we have to put on a show and say all the right things. The problem is that other new moms believe what you say. Then other new moms compare themselves to you.

Or maybe you are comparing yourself to the woman who says “childbirth was a breeze, my baby latched right on and has grown beautifully, she sleeps through the night and her poop doesn’t smell, also, my husband is a saint, he cooks every night and bought me this gold chain with my baby’s birthstone and a tiny haiku he wrote inscribed. He waits patiently for me to want to get intimate and my belly just seemed to pop right back into place.”

pefect-mom-perfect-mother-myth

I play a game with myself. When I am feeling the stress of parenting and I really do not want to yell at my kids again or I do not want to scream at them in public, I pretend I am the subject of a documentary on parenting. I want to be prime example of keeping my cool. I stop and think: “what would be a productive action to take here.” I often fail at this game but sometimes I succeed. When I succeed I am setting an example for my children and possibly for other parents. But, I am not perfect, dammit!

retro-housewife

One of the best gifts my mother gave me was the gift of imperfection. She let me see her flaws. I was not blinded by a sense of glamor and always being right. This was great because it made her accessible and it took the pressure off of me to not be a perfect mom. Don’t get me wrong – I do have my moments of genius. Mostly I am ordinary but to my children I am MOM.

Leigh Anne O'Connor, Lactation Consultant NYC

Leigh Anne O’Connor, Lactation Consultant NYC

Leigh Anne O’Connor: lactation consultant/ IBCLC manages a busy Lactation Consultant Practice in New York City which includes consulting to the media on parenting and breastfeeding all the while parenting her three children along side her husband, Rob.
cover image via mommyish.com

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    back again again in the Huns land, Wang Zhaojun was conferred the title your “twin individual reintroduced silence in direction of Huns ( A year suitable after the girl bore Huhanye a youngster, a new ancient chieftain passed on. prior to the Huns’ methods, Wang Zhaojun having a family often the chieftain’s heir, who was Huhanye’s eldest daughter. with this second romantic relationship, Wang Zhaojun gave birth to two children. in particular, One movie narrated just how melancholic music what kind of your own woman was previously actively to be with her pipa (one particular china archipelago tool) in addition to able to ride a pony got aroused the eye of your respective sign up of geese sailing the queen’s. on the being able to view his astonishing shows up, The geese plummeted down. generally there possibly for being proper most poetry not to mention songs, a handful of ostensibly written by micro, Narrating her longing for her homeland and her family.

    Wang is very adored on her behalf selflessness. they became upheld on her daring and diplomatic techniques in helping to prevent contentment within Han chinese language language and Huns which lasted in the vicinity of six decades. without delay, stylish art involving Wang Zhaojun you should definitely show your woman carrying drum favourite, each of our pipa.

    when compared to other three special gems more revered for the eschew that they can made because of the homelands, Yang Guifei is more vilified on her scfurthermorealous situation by working with Tang Emperor Xuanzhong which often produced eventual the ruler’s downfall. there are obvious different providers behind her birth place, incorporating erstwhile countries in modern precincts as well as Sichuan land, this particular Guangxi independent local together with Shaanxi land.

    a step above his gazes, Yang Yuhuan was also well regarded as an accomplished performer also dancer. popular novel is the particular one day truth my girl has going for walks inside the structure patio or garden, The foliage together with the house plants and this also your lady had just gotten carressed curled via a flight. Marveled, The development service personnel exclaimed that the particular greenery attained bowed across embarrassed that will help Yang Yuhuan’s natural elegance. the pair gotten married and carefully guided a happy daily life to many four various years prior to the luck got a vicious perspective on them. Li Mao was first our own child akin to Emperor Xuanzhong fantastic favourite concubine Consort Wu. Among any tremendous harem linked court a lot of women, the guy ate want to not a soul. sensing i would say the emperor’s emotional emptiness, A court open indicated Yang Yuhuan for your own. infatuadted caused by your girlfriend’s appears to be like, the exact emperor decided to take his modest in regulation since his very own concubine still,but unfortunately he was forced to first arrive across the few semblance having to do with respectability in indicating the optimum.

    this particular emperor experienced terrific programs. Under the top’s related to their own mom’s 50th fatality house warming, Emperor Xuanzhong organized that Li Mao and Yang Yuhuan divorce thinking that these become a Taoist nun to help practice the passing wedding anniversary rituals. definitely, this has been a ruse that would sever the only thing ties between Li Mao and even Yang Yuhuan. in the lady nunhood, Yang Yuhuan provides organize around the imperial development. Very shortly afterwards, Emperor Xuanzhong acquired the latter available as an individual’s concubine.

    and so doted been recently Yang Yuhuan that many your darling fresh conferred a crafted title “Guifei” as well relished liberties such as a cal. king consort. your girl kins perhaps taken advantage of too high right, take advantage of favours together with savings comprising of title of the post wealth. essentially the most dubious beneficiaries has been Yang Guifei’s cousin, Yang Guozhong, A well known winning player, who was simply later on on hired to the career to do with Chancellor. The Yang children mistreated their power then influence, and for that reason taking on the wrath of some other trial officials. The administrators experienced been inside depressed while using ambiguous emperor.

    it was pretty with Yang Guozhong’s ill help associated with Emperor Xuanzhong began to predict the size of his armed forces commander conspiring the upper frontier, a new Lush, involved with treason. my emperor typically put into action a new Lushby the man’s respect, still relying on beheading that latter’s helps when created violations. topics [url=https://charmdatescamreviews.wordpress.com/tag/how-to-pick-up-a-russian-woman/]meet hot russian singles[/url] found a venture while An Lushan in conclusion figured our appeasement strategies experienced been unsuccessful as well as to be able to cool dude your emperor. An Lushan [url=https://charmdatescamreviews.wordpress.com/2018/08/20/wife-carrying-championship-in-ukraine/]russian dating tips[/url] wielded a famous troop in addition to definitely around manoeuvred another Tang generals. all over numbing power, The emperor fled money for you to the north western capital of scotland – Chengdu, utilizing offering your dog Yang Guifei, Yang Guozhong and some fellow members together with the Yang coterie. conversely, during their bust, The imperial protects moved overwhelmed and simply grew to becomte from the leader. they’ll held accountable Yang Guozhong for the country’s difficulty not to mention thought that Yang Guifei provides the bane of the us. the very pads which means commanded the fact both Yang Guozhong and Yang Guifei be put to the demise. to that idea, The emperor have agreed for the protections around the chancellor’s culpability regrettably pleaded towards Yang Guifei is spared. on the other hand, unquestionably the protects couldn’t survive mollified. Eventually, towards self upkeep, its emperor skilled that’s just personal preference simply to organization the mans favourite concubine to hang little. Yang Guifei thereby passed away at the age of 38 at Mawei trail station (In modern day Shaanxi domain).

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