DATING TIPS FOR THE TRAGICALLY SHY:
We know you want to get your final summer fling poppin’ – here are some tips to help make it happen.
Most of us ballsy broads at GirlieGirl Army HQ have never had a problem with dating. Though we’ve been mostly serial monogamists, when we are single – we are confident dating demons, feverishly meeting and questioning all interested suitors. We find dating fun – it’s like thrifting. You never know what you are going to find amongst the rags, or what’s going to look good on you – sometimes the most unexpected jacket just happens to pop! Point is – each date can teach you something you didn’t know – a fact on global warming or how to say “baked potato” in French perhaps. Each date is like writing your own life story. GirlieGirl Army friend (and original member) Maria Dahvana Headley wrote a book called “THE YEAR OF YES” where she said yes to every single person who asked her out on a date for a year (including cabbies and the homeless). It culminated in her meeting her Pulitzer Prize winning Hubby. What did we get away from her book? Put yourself out there – you simply can’t lose by meeting someone new. At the very least you may write a Best-selling novel!
**There is a niche group for anything you are into – from pottery making to rifle shooting – and you will meet like-minded folks. If you are looking for a Catholic woman who loves ferrets and good wine, does crossword puzzles like a champ and will read to your Grandmother – specify it and seek it out. It’s sort of like “The Secret” mentality – if you will it so – it will come your way. And if it doesn’t work and you don’t meet anyone the traditional way, you can always look for dates in dating and hookup apps like the ones you find in Bite6. This way, you get to know and chat with a woman who shares similar interests, and then ask her out!
** We are big proponents of online dating. You don’t need to waste time having three dates with the cutie from the bar, only to find out s/he hates dogs when you have three of them! You can specify your flavor and find the exact type o’ pardner you are looking for. We know there are losers out there, but you can pretty much weed out the meshugeneh’s if you have any semblance of instinct. Many of our friends have had big-time love success with nerve.com.
** Margaret Mead said “I personally measure success in terms of the contributions an individual makes to her or his fellow human beings.” If you follow that philosophy – then aim to meet someone who is contributing to the world. Don’t complain to your best friend 2 years into dating Johnny X that he doesn’t have ambition; if you wanted someone who was ambitious you could have met them at a MENSA meeting or stock market group, if you wanted someone who contributed to the world, you could have met him at a demonstration for a cause you believe in. You choose to bring certain people in your life, know your hand ultimately decides your own destiny.
** DO NOT give up your life story on date #1. Let them work for your story. You’ve taken years to write this bio, don’t give it up so easily. Do be strong and clear about what you are looking for after the first date… if you are looking for a serious commitment and the guy isn’t – it’s better to know off the bat rather than flounder around with a non-committal type. Be strong, but sexy. DEMAND real dates, RESPECT, and let him/ her know you are not to be messed with (without him/her knowing you are pulling all the strings, you smart n’ sexy cookie!).
** Forget about one date with a guy or girl you already know is not right for you. You are wasting your time. “Well, it’s just coffee – how can it hurt?” Listen Gentlemen – it can hurt because in the time you spent having coffee with that too young, brainless waitress from Hooters (sure, sure – you have a cousin who worked at Hooters and is now a Scientist. Mazel Tov.) – you could have been at the gym chatting up the clever brunette on the treadmill next to you. SEEK OUT QUALITY FOLK and you will live a QUALITY life.
** Your friends really matter when it comes to dating. If you exclusively hang out with all married, terminally single, or unlucky in love/ life folks – you won’t meet people unless the marrieds are generous in their hook ups. Meet other singles who are intelligent, interesting, and fun to be around; they will invite you to places where other quality singles will be – and you’ll be way more likely to meet people. Your coupled friends don’t want to hang with you at the Al-anon Singles Event – they want to go home, have sex, and eat Brownies! Do things with people who will enjoy the process with you, aka other singles.
** And a final note; look gorgeous, but more importantly, feel gorgeous. If you don’t put a little effort into your visual and mental offerings, then do you really love you? And if not, how are your suitors supposed to want you if you don’t want yourself? A proper conundrum! Go to the gym, read Wayne Dwyer books, use lots of lip gloss… get your a-game in full swing. You will be so happy lovin’ yourself up, you’ll barely notice when s/he knocks on your door and falls in full blown love.