Friday, August 18th, 2017

Dear Men Who Were Number Rating Women At American Apparel

Published on March 26, 2017 by   ·   No Comments Pin It
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It was 1:30pm and I was with my 2 year old on my way to baby gym class when I saw the American Apparel near my house was going out of business. Not one to generally support that company since the sexual abuse accusations came out, I was hestitant to go in – but since I’d barely be supporting the company with shirts selling for 70% off, and they are American made and many organic, I did a quick pop-in to assess – plus I had 10 minutes to kill and it was cold outside.

As I was thumbing through the racks, I heard a nasal voice next to me saying “I mean, she is the most dramatic number shifter ever. She goes from a zero to a 10 right away! I saw her last night and she looked like shit – maybe a 2 – but sometimes she looks like a ten. I don’t get it.” I turned around to see a young guy (maybe late twenties, early thirties) suffering from early hair loss (near bald), a large nose, bug eyes, and on the larger side of rotund exclaiming on and on to his male friend about said woman’s number rating and physical appearance.  A woman who was clearly friend, a young plus-sized woman with some premature balding, stood close by them saying nothing as her friends cut down her fellow woman.  I said “unbelievable!” out loud, but he didn’t hear (though did check me out to see if I was worth rating or not.) This dude was a dead ringer for Jason Alexander, and he had the nerve to rate anyone else based on their looks?! I strongly considered giving him a feminism 101 schooling, but realized I was low on time and had my baby with me – lest he go full crazy – so it probably wasn’t a good idea. I stewed and simmered while listening to more of his misogynistic ranting while planning on exposing him somehow!

Where on earth is there a place for an unattractive man (or a gorgeous one for that matter!) to number rate the looks of a woman! And if you were the type to do that, surely you’d wait til behind doors with your “bro’s.”  Or would you? Apparently men do still rate women’s looks, or as someone named John Castle wrote on Quora;

We only rate women just for fun. It’s a rating from 1 -10

1) Uno

Very Ugly. A warrior pig from hell. No redeemable qualities. A notion to hang yourself will creep in the moment you see her shadow. A face that could sink a thousand ships (literally). Killing one is legal in some country.

2) Dos

Ugly. You might fuck her if you’re drunk, drugged, has no self-esteem, disabled, has an erectile dysfunction, has multiple chins, look like a “teletubby” and a turd-eating son of a b*tch.

3) Tres

Slightly ugly but distinguishable as a woman. . You may seduce her if you get drunk enough. It could be costly though as it will take a minimum of an entire case of beer to get you so drunk you’ll get it on with this type of girl.

4) Cuatro

Ordinary but below average. You commonly see this girl in the slums. Has a face and a body of a women but there’s still a small part of you telling that you have seen her in a Star Wars movie.

5) Cinco

Average. Not totally beautiful but there’s something in her that makes your little “willy” moves a bit. She has this one quality that is pleasant to the eyes. If you fuck her, you can put her name in your scorecard.

6) Seis

Cute. Looking at her doesn’t make your eyes teary. The rating I will give if you post your mother’s picture in Facebook because I’m trying to be nice. She can be introduced to friends as a girlfriend. Holding her hand while walking in a mall is acceptable.

7) Siete

Very cute. A kind of girl that most likely get laid after a night in a club. If introduced to friends, they will instantly look at you, asking you telepathically if you already fucked her. She can be introduced to parents as girlfriends but your mom probably ask if she’s a hooker.

8) Ocho

Hot. The red dress-wearing girl in the club. Looking at her will give you a massive boner… if you’re a man. There will be an anxiety when you approach this kind of girl unless you’re on cocaine.

9) Nueve

Very hot. Instead of a boner, most guys get intimidated just by looking with this delightful creature. A beauty that can stop traffic in a highway. The Universe way of saying “Life is unfair.”

10) Diez

Hottest, Prettiest and Most Beautiful. “F*ck” is the first word that will come out in your mouth if you had a glimpse on her.  Time stops when she enters the scene and everything becomes wonderful. A rare kind of mythical creature… like a unicorn. Seeing her is sufficient enough for guys to brag to other friends that he “saw” her. Many guys believe in their non-existence. The blood of this type of creature can cure cancer.

THIS IS WHY FEMINISM.  If a guy in NYC thinks it’s okay to rate a woman’s looks loudly – in public – without getting checked (boo) then something is amiss with how we are educating our sons.

Photo by Devin Allen

Dear Men Who Were Number Rating Women At American Apparel Today — I hope you somehow see this post and know — you both rated a 0-2 (at best,) taking in mind your personalities. ..and rating women’s looks is freaking disgusting. And that you’d both be lucky to get that “zero to 10” of which you spoke, because I’m sure there’s something completely gorgeous and brilliant about her that’s far beyond her looks. I’d bet she will get the life she wants since she’s important enough to speak of in public. Did she reject you? Is that’s why you’re so mad?  You two, however, based on your personalities, will deserve to be single forever. Here’s something feminist men know: if you’re a righteous, progressive, social justice inclined man – even if you’re bald and big – a beautiful woman will love you because a beautiful, feminist woman can cut through the visceral and see the soul of a man with ethics and compassion.  Narcissism is so ugly, and a man who rates a woman is suffering from low-self esteem veiled as narcissism. Beautiful, kind women overlook or even (gasp!)  love a double chin or bald spot when there’s a pure heart on the other side. Beautiful, kind men do the same.

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