Lettuce for a second be your fashion edu-ma-ca-tors:

Yes, superstores like Target sell gobs of horrid plastics n’ dried pigs ears, but they also supply us vegan fashionistas with a well deserved dose of cruelty-free designer goodies.   We get our ethical fashion fix on at mainstays like MooShoes, OlsenHaus, and our other faves, but sometimes even the greenest gal needs to cheat for a designer junk food fix.  We all know Kale is best, but sometimes a bitch needs a damn brownie. It’s now become common place to find seriously luxe and noted designers like Jovovich-Hawk, Isaac Mizrahi, Anya Hindmarch, Sigerson Morrison, and Alexander McQueen dipping their silver spoons into the world of the working class by lending their design skills to the average Josie at Target, or to find leather-free kitten heels by Abaete, Lela Rose and alice+olivia gracing the perfunctory racks at Payless.  Lucky us!  Although not always the most eco of items (but if we get really technical about it - the environmental catastrophe of leather tanning and cattle raising ain’t nothing compared to a pair or two of low-gassing plastic shoes), these cruelty-free pieces give our credit cards a low impact work out for maximum design output.  Since Target (and Kmart, Walmart, et al) produce so many units for so little dough, they use the cheapest materials possible.  Cheers to our luck, veganistas, they are usually synthetics, cottons, and pvc’s.  Perfect for our animal-skin free bodices.  Bargain shopping fashion addicts usually snatch up entire collections in minutes (only to throw it on ebay for double the price), so our advice is to buy online or head over to the store as soon as collections become available. From an ethical perspective we know shopping at these superstores is NOT ideal (according to their Responsible Shopper Profile, Target is “the subject of repeated allegations of sweatshop sourcing worldwide”) so we keep it to a very once-in-a-while minimum… but when you live as clean as we do, this very occasional splurge is still better than an elitist romp over to Manolo B’s.  Plus, we never said we were perfect.  Just perfectly coiffed.

Hayden-Harnett Bags, which are always leather and retail at around $700 (and up) are now vegan, cheap, n’ available (kinda like you!) at Target here.

Here’s a taste of the dream basics available for less than two glasses of decent champagne and a bag of edamame;

Hayden-Harnett for Target Clutch, $19.99.

Hayden-Harnett for Target, Chain Bag: $44.99.

Hayden-Harnett for Target: Double-Flap Bag $29.95

Since all the suckers have bought everything at full price, go enjoy some post-Holiday sale shopping!

From our GirlieGirl crew, to your wack pack.. may this be a year of sheer bliss and ecstasy.

We feel like we are always starting every blog with something about our PMS; “During one particularly bad PMS binge, we ate all the contents of our fridge in 20 minutes” or “Last week, when PMS struck, we almost smacked our doorman for having the nerve to say hello to us!  Can’t he see we want privacy!?” or “F*ck our organic raw diet, someone give us 7 bagels and a pile of tofu creme cheese - stat!!”

Let’s face it, life is sort of one particularly insane PMS ride.  We are either ecstatic and impassioned - dancing on the ceiling at the most fabulous party in the world, or boo-hoo driven and anxiety ridden.  Everything in betwixt is just filler.

That said, our Fiance (who hereto shall be known as the SAINT, for reasons you’ll understand if you are a woman and read the rest of this story) knew we were having a PMS moment on Friday evening and called on the way home from work and said “Baby, I know you are feeling icky.  What can I get you from the store?” and I screamed “OWWW.. I want cookies!!!”

Saint said; “Are you sure baby?  You don’t usually eat sugar or cookies or sweets, and when you do, you complain and feel horrible.”  I screamed; “Don’t tell me what my body needs!! I want COOKIES and I want them in BULK and I want them NOW.  And I want them VEGAN and gluten free, with no sugar or any icky ingredients!”  Saint hustled through the isles at the Health Food store, “Honey, I’ll get you whatever you want.  I see some raw, organic vegan truffles here.  Do you want them?”  I howled at the injustice; “NO!  They are $18 and will be gone in seconds!  I want something to savor. I don’t know what I want!!”  The Saint trudged on through isles and isles; reading me (at my demand) the back of the box of nearly every cookie and sweet treat box he came across.

Finally he came across a cookie with a halo.  A cookie so pure, so good for you, so HEALTHY, it had to taste like shit.  Or did it?  He read the ingredients of NANA’s COOKIES: “This one sounds good, Angel.  It’s fruit juice sweetened, totally vegan, has no refined sugars, dairy, hydrogenated oils, cholesterol, bad fats, trans fats, GMO’s, cane, or beet products.”  Before he could finish I warbled (too tired at that point to scream, someone fetch me my slippers!) “YES, I want those.  Lot’s of them.  And three Kombuchas.  And 6 organic apples.  And organic kim-chee.  And …” (the list went on, I won’t bore you with my household minutia).

The Saint trudged in, from a long day Art Directing websites for the rich and famous, carrying bags upon bags of overpriced food.  Before he could even remove his Chapeau he was inundated by overexcited barks and meows from our ninja squad of rescued animals.  I yelped, prostrate, on the bed; “HONEY, my COOKIES.  Please.” The please came out like a whisper, a final plea before being sacrificed to the goddess of lunar rosé.  Saint Fiance rushed in, bearing a big fat woman-sized “Coconut Chip” cookie for me.  I threw my pink chenille robe wearing self upon the treats and tore into the first cookie like a man at sea hits a whorehouse.

HEAVEN.  I never knew being *so* very good and clean could taste so naughty.

Sheer bliss; Nana's Cookie Company. Eat them. Now.

“My love, where did you find these unparalleled snacks?!!  These can’t be good for you!!”

The Saint replied (now trained to my ingredient reading eye) “Yes baby, they are totally great for you!  Read the ingredient’s again.  Just enjoy and relax.  Do you want a back rub?”

I looked at him, one tear rolling down behind my Prada glasses, “Yes, please.”

Crafter/Blogger (I Heart Switch)/Author/TV personality Alison Lewis’s new book “Switch Craft: Battery-Powered Crafts to Make and Sew” includes some surprisingly simple DIY electric crafts.

How do you use your iPod in the winter without taking off your gloves, without freezing your fingertips off? Craft up a Gadget Glove (for yourself or as a really cheap n’ chic n’ unusual gifty-poo)!   Make any glove friendly to iPods and iPhones by adding conductive thread to the finger-tip of the glove as well as the thumb-tip!

This is too cool:

Gadget Glove Materials:
- A pair of your favorite gloves
- Needle (medium sized)
- Spool of conductive thread (purchased at Spark Fun or Lame’ Saver)
- Fabric pen or marker

Steps:
1. Put on your gloves
2. Mark the location of where your fingers touch your screen with the fabric pen or marker, this will be your center mark.
3. Take off the gloves and thread your needle with conductive thread (tie a knot at the end)
4. Using the dot as your center mark, sew about a 1/4″ - 1/2″ square with horizontal stitches. The size depends on the size of your finger. Pull the thread all the way through to the inside of the gloves. The trick is that the thread touches your fingers on the inside of your gloves when you have them on.
5. Sew another square of vertical stitches on top of that one, tie it off, and cut the excess thread.
7. Do this for every finger you want to be able to control your device and then your done!

IT’S THAT SIMPLE!!!!!
+++ Love this idea and want more? Gadget Gloves are just one of the 20 projects in “Switch Craft: Battery Powered Crafts to Make and Sew.” Check out Alison’s blog for focus on technology from a fashion-centric female perspective.

Whilst meeting hundreds of crafty mavens at the fabulous BUST CRAFTACULAR this past Sunday, we stumbled across cuties Mika and Scott from Father Pankik Industries who make these precious acrylic knit, hand chain stitched gloves.  Not only are they DIY from a cute lil Mom n’ Pop shop, they are the perfect holiday gift for your favorite hardass.  Warning: you’ll want to order an extra pair for yourself.  Plus, all orders (when you mention GirlieGirlArmy.com) get free shipping for the holidays!

KNUCKLE TATTOO GLOVES, $23.

STRIPED KNUCKLE TATTOO GLOVES, $20.

Father Panik also sells dope necklaces, tee shirts, and other tchatchkes you’ll want to stuff in yer stocking.  Like this flying skull necklace.

Butterfly Skull Necklace, $145.

Perhaps it’s our current state of rabid PMS, but we could really use a set of brass knuckles this week.   Some bitch shopping will have to suffice.  Get your mean girl shopping on, and punch your pillow.