Loyale is a fashion-forward, sustainable clothing company for men, women, and the wee eco nuggets. We think it’s simple, comfortable, and utterly easy (kinda like us - minus the comfy part) on Prom night.  While designing at fashion companies, such as Calypso, Catherine Malandrino and Kate Spade, 30 year old compassionate cutie pie Jenny Hwa began to notice a lack of stylish clothing made with regard for the environment. It’s extremely rare to see a clothing company that was concerned with the social and environmental issues involved with producing a collection, so Jenny sprung into action! These observations lead to the founding of Loyale… loyal to style *and* loyal to the environment.  Thank GODDESS!

Loyale launched in Spring 2005 with the goal of transforming the uninspiring organic market with a fashion-forward, organic cotton collection.  Loyale’s clothing is inspired by understated sophistication, alluring fit and organic textiles for the fashionably conscious set. Taking an ecological stance, while creating frocks with beckoning silhouettes and charming details are Loyale’s signature criterion.

We took a hot second to ask this conscious diva a few Q’s;

Who are your favorite designers? My favorite non-Eco designers are Dries van Noten, Marni, APC,  Paul Smith, Theory, J.Crew.  My favorite Eco-designers are Mr. Larkin, Del Forte, Ciel, and American Apparel.

How did how you grew up influence your design aesthetic? Being raised in Nor Cal inspired me to consider my existence on the planet and what role I play in either adding to its demise or improving the odds for humanity. I have always firmly believed one person can make a difference, so that is path I took with loyale. Design aesthetic wise, I have a British mother, yet grew up in a very laid back, Cali atmosphere; as a result loyale collections regularly consist of a tasteful mix of wearable, timeless separates.

Describe your personal style: Classic - if you imagine Audrey Hepburn in “Sabrina”, that is how I like to dress and design my collections.

What are three things you couldn’t live without? 1. My husband, he is so generous and supportive. 2. Optimism 3. Delicious organic food & wine.

What is your favorite upping the ante green tip? A lot of people eat meat everyday and that is why our planet is so abused.

Have you felt that the recent outpouring of positive mainstream response to eco-fashion gave your business a big boost in the last few years? Thankfully, yes! So many consumers and buyers are becoming more conscious and aware of what steps need to be taken to improve the health of the planet…

Do any celebrities wear your line, if so who? Emily Deschanel, she is a loyal loyale fan and a total vegan hottie! Also Rachel McAdams, Jessica Alba, Courtney Cox, Alice Waters, and Kristin Gore wear Loyale.

There are so many advancements in fabrics every day (see our recent eco-fabrics blog) like Seaweed and Corn derivative fabrics; what are some of the new fabrics you have been experimenting with? What do you see as the future for green fabrics? To be honest, a lot of these fabrics freak me out and I am down right obsessed with using 100% organic cotton, the fabric nature intended. Bamboo, Soy, Seaweed and Corn fabrics disturb me for a few reasons; One, I don’t believe that food products should be used for creating fabrics and two, the number of chemicals needed to make these various products into a wearable fabric is not environmentally sound. My mission is to reduce the amount of chemicals being used and then worn, so I am on a mission to spread the word about conventional, non-organic cotton. Growing conventional cotton uses 25% of the world’s insecticides and more than 10% of the pesticides. To make a cotton product, more than 8,000 chemicals are involved and it takes about 1 pound of chemical fertilizers and pesticides to produce the cotton for one pair of conventional jeans and t-shirt -that is 2 cups of synthetic chemicals for just one outfit! Milling and dyeing cotton are also chemically intensive processes that include toxic bleach, formaldehyde and heavy metals. My message is: Wear organic cotton, it’s really important to your health and the planet’s health!

100% Organic Cotton Twill & factory reclaimed overstock fabric - made in NYC

What sort of routine do you have when you design? Do you just get ideas and sketch on the go or do you have some sort of routine (i.e. listening to loud salsa music and eating jelly beans)? I design collections year round. I am inspired by reading a ton of different publications and books at one time and music is a huge influence. For instance I am designing fall 2009, but spring 2010 is already percolating while I read “Atlas Shrugged,” Vanity Fair magazine, Ode magazine, Travel & Leisure magazine, Women’s Wear Daily, Earth magazine and scope out The Sartorialist Blog. while listening to bands like, Arthur & Yu, Devendra Banhart and the Weepies. This is my wacky world!

THANKS JENNY!!  SHOP LOYALE ONLINE HERE: http://www.loyaleclothing.com

**30% OFF WITH COUPON CODE “Gogirlie08″ til December 1st!**

Learn how to make it by watching the video below - or simply follow the actual recipe below and stuff your sexy, filthy little face.   This is a perfect recipe to wow your family with on T-day!  Put on your apron and make like Martha, dollbaby. xo

Fig & Wild Rice Seitan Roulade Recipe;

For the Seitan

• 1-1/2 cups vital wheat gluten
• 1/4 cup almond meal
• 4 cloves garlic, crushed and finely chopped
• 1 tsp sea salt
• 1/2 tsp fresh ground black pepper
• 6-1/2 cups vegetable stock, divided
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• cheesecloth

For the Stuffing

• 1-1/2 cups mixed wild and brown rice
• 3 cups water
• 3 tbsp olive oil
• 2 shallots, sliced
• 4 cloves garlic, crushed and chopped
• 2 ribs celery, diced
• 1 cup dried figs, chopped
• 1 cup bread crumbs
• 1/4 cup almond meal
• 1/2 cup vegetable stock
• handful fresh parsley, chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
• black pepper to taste

For Cooking Stock

• 1 large onion, cut in sixths
• 3 parsnips, quartered
• 3 carrots, quartered
• 2 ribs celery, quartered
• 2-3 cups of vegetable stock
• 1 cup apple cider
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• 1/2 tsp fresh ground black pepper

How-to

Prepare the Seitan

1. Prepare a large covered dish for the seitan, filling it with 4 cups of the vegetable stock
2. Combine vital wheat gluten with the almond meal, chopped garlic, sea salt and black pepper.  Stir to combine.  In a measuring cup or small bowl, whisk 1-1/2 cups of the vegetable stock and olive oil together.  Pour the wet mixture slowly over the dry and stir to form a wet dough
3. Scoop the dough out onto a clean surface and pat into a rectangle roughly 8 x 12″.  Cover with a length of double thick cheesecloth, leaving a generous overhang of 5-6″ on each end.  Beginning at the end furthest away from you, begin to loosely roll the rectangle toward you, covering the exposed seitan with the extra cheesecloth as you go
4. Place the fully wrapped roulade in the vegetable stock and cover the dish.  Bake covered for 1-1/2 hours.  Remove from oven and allow the roulade to cool completely in the dish for several hours.  Do not discard the broth

Make the Stuffing

1. Cook the rice in 3 cups of water
2. In a large skillet, heat the olive oil over medium heat
3. Add the shallots and cook for 2-3 minutes until softened
4. Add garlic and cook until golden brown.  Add celery, stirring for a minute to soften slightly
5. Scoop the cooked rice into the skillet and add the figs, bread crumbs, almond meal and stock.  Stir to combine and heat through, 4-5 minutes.  Remove the heat, add in parsley and season with salt and pepper

Prepare the Stock

1. Remove the roulade from its cooking pot and set aside.  Combine all above ingredients with the remaining stock in the pot and stir

To Assemble

1. Unroll the seitan and remove its cheesecloth
2. Gently flatten the seitan on a clean surface and spread with the stuffing
3. Use a lightly oiled hand to press the stuffing flat against the seitan
4. Loosely re-roll the seitan, carefully pressing the stuffing in if it falls out.  Once fully rolled, re-wrap the roulade in a slightly loose cheesecloth.  You may also choose to tie the roll with kitchen twine, but leave some room for the seitan to expand as it cooks
5. Place the wrapped roll back in the pot, arranging the vegetables around it and adding any additional stock to ensure that the liquid covers at least half of the roulade
6. Bake covered for 1-1/2-2 hours, turning halfway through

To Serve

1. Lift the roulade out, unwrap the cheesecloth and cut in 1/2″ slicesThe vegetables may be served as is alongside the roulade or puree them with some of the stock to make a simple sauce that is good with the roulade or with an accompaniment of mashed potatoes

Note on Ingredients

• Vital wheat gluten can be found in many stores, often in the baking section, or check the bulk section of health food stores for a less expensive option
• Almond meal, sometimes called almond flour, can be purchased pre-made or you can make your own by simply toasting raw almonds lightly for 10 minutes in a 350 degree oven, allowing them to cool completely and then processing into a fine powder

ps — LUCKY BOSTONERS

Emilie is teaching two upcoming classes.  You can sign up for either here or learn more about darling Emilie and her tasty treaters here.

Vegan Desserts for Winter
In this course we will create several healthy, sophisticated, and beautiful dairy- and egg-free desserts perfect for the colder months that will please everyone, regardless of their dietary preferences. Recipes include olive oil and anise cake with blood orange macedonia, yeasted sugar cake with spiced fig and apricot compote, black pepper apple galette with salted caramel sauce, and a variety of truffles. Instruction will explore the general principles of dairy- and egg-free baking in a way that can be extrapolated to other dessert-making projects. Limited to 16.
Sec. 01: 1 Saturday, 11:00 am-2:00 pm. Jan. 31, 42 Brattle St. | $69

&

Creative Vegan Cuisine
In this two-session course, we will create casually sophisticated, balanced, and delicious dairy-, egg-, and meat-free dishes. With different kinds of tofu, wheat-based seitan, cultured-soy tempeh, nuts, beans, and bean flours, we will make dishes from around the world, including chickpea polenta tart, white kidney bean and seitan stew in phyllo cups, fennel sausage and pear pizza, fettuccini alfredo, tofu laksa, cashew cheese endive and roasted beet salad, macadamia kibbeh, and tempeh sambal. Limited to 16.
Sec. 01: 2 Mondays, 6:30-9:30 pm. Mar. 9 & 16, 42 Brattle St. | $119

WEEKLY FAVES!

We get all excited about new things every single week.  Like shoes and food and books and music and nipple clamps.  Okay, JK on the last one, our nips are way too senstive for clampin’.  Save that for Jed.  Get your trigger finger ready to shop n’ forward.

• These sexy-Pilgrim style vegan boots by Novacas are made from the highest quality Italian synthetic microfibers which do not contain any polyvinyl (put that in your green pipe and smoke it!). They are available in Brown and in Black at MooShoes and your sweet ass will get 10% off anything on the site with code “GirlieGirl10″ at check out (or in store)!  Perfect basics for everything from work to slutty nights out.

• This organic Sicilian Blood Orange Juice has just the right amount of bite.  Somewhere between a grapefruit juice and an orange juice; it just absolutely floats our delicious little boats.  It would be a sweet mixer for some vodka, but we have too much to do to be all boozey these days.   It’s just natural sugars from the blood oranges…no added sugars or sweeteners. The nutritional value to the juice is off the chain with it’s anti-oxidant power, and it’s organic.  Who could ask for anything more?  That’s amore!

• A beautiful and heart-wrenching, but most of all uplifting tale of survival - A Rare Breed of Love by Jana Kohl is your next must read. Baby’s story will break your heart in a billion poodle pieces - and then piece it back together again with a few sweet licks.  Read this book and buy it for everyone in your posse.  Paris Hilton needs 20 copies asap, or at least a Cliff’s Note’s tattooed somewhere on her hand.   Jana Kohl is a woman to respect and listen to.  Not only did she write this wonderful book, she’s also a psychologist, and an animal welfare advocate. Having worked for the Simon Wiesenthal Center for Holocaust Studies for many years, she has long been concerned with how cruelty becomes sanctioned by society. Kohl has testified before the Illinois State Legislature on the link between legalized violence against animals and interhuman violence. She has participated in numerous animal welfare campaigns, most notably to end the sale of foie gras in her hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Kohl currently resides on the West Coast with Baby and a cat named Kitty Pie, whom she also adopted.  We think she’s sweller than swell.

Watch the short video about Baby n’ her Mama here:

• Maybe it’s just us, but as soon as the weather gets this chilly willy, we autofatically (we spelled that exactly as we meant to, Mr. Strunk n’ White!) gain 5 pounds.  Hell, make it ten and pour us another bagel!  Here’s comes Thansgiving and all our badonkadonk wants is “An elegant display of puff pastry filled with savory Native Seitan, Organic Kale, Portabello Mushrooms, Orange Glazed Yams, Fabulous Stuffing, Carmelized Onions, with Shallot Mushroom Gravy on the side.”  Jealous?  Step right up and buy the Wellington from Native Foods.  It comes frozen (delivers anywhere!!) and you bake it!  It’s  ready in 1 hour and you can fool your carcass eating relatives.  Order it online here.

Why don’t vegans wear wool - and what the hell else are they supposed to wear?  Oh, sister, we have got you covered!!

According to VegforLife.com; Sheep have been purposely bred to produce excessive wool. As a result of having an abnormal amount of wool, many sheep suffer from fly infestations, skin sores and wool parasites. During shearing, the majority of these animals are handled roughly and their fleece is removed as quickly as possible. Injuries are common and shearers frequently cut into the flesh of terrified sheep.  Lambs typically suffer from painful mutilations, such as tail docking and castration, without anesthesia. Sheep may also undergo mulesing, a painful process by which a four by six-inch piece of skin is cut from their tails and backside. When the sheep are no longer producing prime wool, they are commonly transported to slaughterhouses in overcrowded trucks. Many sheep become “downers” and are left to suffer and die slowly from neglect. Australia, the largest wool producer, sends many of its “spent” sheep on a long, tortuous journey by ship to the Middle East where they are sold and slaughtered. Felt, or compressed wool, is also a product of the cruel wool industry.

Here’s what PINK has to say about wool;

Our friend Josh over at The Discerning Brute says; When Australian sheep are no longer ‘useable’ they are shipped off to slaughter in the Middle East. Millions of sheep are packed onto enormous, multitiered ships where severe overcrowding causes many to be trampled to death or to starve when they cannot reach food and water troughs. Treated as mere cargo, sick or injured sheep may be thrown overboard to drown or are tossed alive into shipboard grinders. Those who survive the grueling weeks- or months-long voyage in filthy, disease-ridden conditions have their throats slit without being stunned first. Additionally, mulesing is a cheap, crude attempt to create smooth, scarred skin that is resistant to blowfly maggots which can eat sheep alive. However, the enormous, bloody wounds can attract the very flies the procedure is supposed to repel, and lambs sometimes get flystrike before they even heal from the traumatic ordeal.

Are you sufficiently horrified for the poor sheep?  Just wait til you see the undercover footage on www.savethesheep.com.  Us vegan, truly eco gals don’t wear wool, so at times sweater shopping can feel frustrating.  But once you get a handle on what you can wear - things get easier!

• YES to Cotton
• YES to Tencel (according to Josh it’s; “breathable, durable, and biodegradable, and is one of the newest cruelty-free wool substitutes”)
• YES to Polartec Wind Pro (eco cuz it’s made from recycled plastic soda bottles, is breathable, durable, and biodegradable, and is one of the newest cruelty-free wool substitutes. It’s a high-density fleece with four times the wind resistance of wool that also wicks away moisture.
• YES to eco-tastic Bamboo knits
• YES to Cotton Flannel, Polyester Fleece, Synthetic Shearling, and Rayon.
• YES to non-animal based fibers (check out this list of our favorites!)
  

As long as there is a demand for wool products, and companies making it look great, sheep will be subjected to exploitation and cruelty. Please look into alternatives to wool that consider sustainability, social justice, and animal advocacy.  There is nothing sexier than compassion!

Click on images below to buy these cruelty-free eco options!

Fabulous, organic cotton, and fairly made in Peru.

Hand knit chunky organic cotton sweater in a beautiful blue.

Classic mens smoking jacket for the femme. Made from warm organic fleece.

Chic and oh-so-cozy!

Perfect for shlepping around.

Hemp Hoodie! Wear it and smoke it ;).

Winter white!

Just remember; no creature should have to suffer for your fabulous clothes!  It takes a little bit of extra effort, but it’s SO worth it! Mwah!

Beautiful souls of the GirlieGirl Army,

You shine with your inner and outer utter gorgeousness!  It’s outrageous how much your smile lights up the night!  Had enough ass kissing?  Okay, Lieutenants; we need your holiday spirit in high gear!

As the first of the seasonal cards trickle in, let’s take action for whatever it is we truly believe in. In a decadent time of throwaway gifts (ciao carbon footprints), miles of gift wrapping (later for you Tress), and piles of leftovers (Pesticide city!)  - lettuce ponder for a moment the plight of those without our lucky, lucky lives.

Obviously we can’t all afford to donate piles of dough - so what are some alternatives?  Volunteer for your favorite organization, don’t put it off, now is the time to be of service.  ‘Tis the season to GIVE, and what better way to give than to attend Benefits?  Benefits are a wonderful way to meet like-minded folk, support the organizations you love, and have a blast while you are at it!  It’s the easiest peasiest way to do good.  Your Grandma would be so proud (kvell alert!).

GirlieGirlArmy.com is proud to sponsor the following NEW YORK CITY benefit, and we’d SO love for you to join us. If you don’t come we will be devastated with a capital D.  And really, do you want us to smudge our extra long lash mascara?  You are a class act, that’s not your style.  Plus we really want to meet every last one of you.  Come out, come out wherever you are!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Farm Sanctuary & Girlie Girl Army presents: A Winter Wonderland for the Animals

Time: 6 -10 p.m. @ The Art Directors Club in New York City,

Hosted by Tatum O’Neal, Jennifer Coolidge, Peter Max, Ally Sheedy, Justin Theroux, Princess Superstar, Daniela Sea, Patrick McDonnell, Corey Feldman, Nick Zinner, and many other celebrity supporters.

Picture a festive cocktail party with hors d’oeuvres and sweets (can you say BABYCAKES?!) from a variety of the city’s finest vegan restaurants (think Candle 79, Blossom, and so many more that you’ll need a diet the next morning), holiday shopping at our fab silent auction, gorgeous (and potentially single!) guests mingling, and absolutely dreamy goody bags.  It’s so you!  What are you waiting for - visit the event web site to rsvp now (tickets are $100 per person, with sponsorship levels from $350 and up).  You can also visit to the site to see a list of our sponsors, host committee, and celebrity guests, and for updates on the event as the date draws near.  Are you so excited and you just can’t hide it?  Good!  Help even more by donating an item to the auction or goody bags!  Email me for more details.

The event will be a warm holiday celebration of compassion! It is also a night to raise critical year-end funds to care for the large number of animals Farm Sanctuary’s Emergency Rescue Team has saved from abuse this year, and to continue their legislative and legal campaigns, education programs, and rescues next year.

I am so thankful for your sassy pants participation with GirlieGirl Army throughout the year and really hope you will be a part of giving back at this special holiday event.   It won’t be the same without you.  Put on something that sparkles, and sip on a proper Martini with us on December 4^th in NYC.  For those of you not in NYC, please consider making a one time gift to the animals of Farm Sanctuary, or to your favorite charity today.  Then give yourself a big hug and revel at your marvelous karma!

Cheers big ears.

Xoxo Chloé Jo (and the little High Heeled Elves at GirlieGirl Army HQ)

Our knickers are officially in a twist!  Shop It To Me is an innovative email service that notifies you when clothing, shoes, and bags from designers you heart goes on sale in your sizes.  This is for the Gents and the Ladies and the Little Rugrats too, yo! Oh, and it’s free too Fanny Brice!

Shop It To Me’s signature “sale mail” alerts inform you about only brands you’ve pre-specified, in sizes you want, at a frequency you request and from only trusted retailers.  This service is ADDICTIVE.  It’s not an annoying email, it comes once in a blue moon and never feels intrusive.  It’s like having your own personal shopper give you a heads up when your favorite designer goes on sale!

www.shopittome.com

Pick from among the 500+ brands that can be searched - even eco-fabu lines Loomstate and Edun - and  also your old standby’s like BCBG, Diesel, Banana Republic, etc etc etc.   They have a bit of a ways to go for more cruelty-free shoe and bag options, but they know we want it, and we are waiting with baited green breath. What are you waiting for?  Sign up!

More to come lovebugs, but here’s one of more coming lists (in addition to those we list weekly on the newsletter) for the vegan coat seekers.  Until very glamorous Vaute Couture coats are available, we’ll have to settle for these broads;

EXTRA WARM COATS FOR ICE PRINCESSES:

Steve Madden does it Vegan-style.

• Steve Madden Women’s Full-length Coat with Hood
• A puffy parka to keep you warm all season with a chic wrap belt.
• Get your snow bunny on with a white winter wonderland puffer.
• Faux-Shearling Toggle Coat, Boot Length.
• Steve Madden Quilted Jacket With Faux Fur Hood
• Casual LL Bean coat for all seasons, extra insulation.

DRESS ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO:

A 50's moment from Tulle

• Extra-soft faux rabbit fur coat for those of you transitioning out of animal fur.
• Fall in line with the clearest of seas in this vibrant trench by Tulle. Glove length sleeves and an on-trend funnel neck add an unexpected spark to blustery fall days. Dress it up or down, but don’t leave home without it.
• Date ready swing coat.  So very Mary Tyler Moore.

SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN; THE BISEXUAL COAT:

The Frida by Cheap Monday

• Easy grey peacoat with faux fur collar that will keep you warmer than Cayenne Pepp.
• Old Navy has the craziest selection of Vegan Coats (all but those noted “wool blend” are v).  Definitely not well made, but will do the trick in a pinch.
• Our favorite of the bunch; the Cheap Monday Frida Coat.  A perfect blend of casual, warm, and fabulous.

As Little Edie, in one of our favorite pictures “Grey Gardens” spontaneously combusted; “I’m mad about the Maysles!” Here are some things we are just mad for this very week;

I’M TIRED BRACELETS

This eco friendly bracelet, made from recycled tires and metals, is not only very rock n roll - it’s all about raising big money for your causes.  Brought to you by the divas White Apricot, each bracelet sells for $10, and $5 from each sale is donated to the charity or charities associated with its cause.  Currently there are 10 different bracelets, representing 10 causes (AIDS, Cancer, World Hunger, Global Warming, Animal Rights, and more).  These are so much cooler than Lance Armstrong’s rubbery brethren.  If we did Christmas, we’d say these we marvelous stocking stuffers.  www.ImTiredOnline.com

DUCHESS MARDEN PRODUCTS

Sayonara La Mer face cream, and your overpriced and chemical filled silicone sisters.  Lettuce introduce you to Duchess Marden products.  Nary could a line be more aptly named - these products are sheer royalty.  Not only do they smell like Aphrodite herself (the line prides itself on being a “scentuous” experience), they line our bathroom cabinets as if Princess Caroline herself lives in our one bedroom apartment.  We finally found a line that not only delivers, but is completely eco, natural, plant-based, and mostly vegan.  This is the decadent line *real* Queens should be wearing at night (don’t get it twisted fake jug sportin’ McCain voting Hasselback lovers, you can stick to being robbed blind by La Mer for all we care).  Buy the line online or at Whole Foods or at your favorite fancy organic spa.   The Rose Water Spritz is just heavenly.  You’ll want to have an errand boy spritzing it in front of you as you walk.  Yea, we said it.  Errand boy.

GODDESS CARDS

The Goddess Cards DO not lie. Call us hippies or crazies (you wouldn’t be entirely off base) all you want,  but when we pull our nightly “Goddess Card” (think Lakshmi, Isis, Athena) from this tarot-like deck, something really woo woo happens.  There has never been a time where we haven’t been told something incredibly meaningful through this deck of cards.  Simply put, they are special.   Perhaps its all in the believing but this deck of oracle cards, and it’s accompanying guide book, gives us the most accurate quasi-readings we have ever had and bring us as close to divine magic as we’ve ever encountered.

ECO-SENSUAL LIP BALM BY PEACEKEEPERS

Us vegan gals with voluptuous, juicy lips know what we mean when we say, most vegan lip balms are sub par to most bee vomit addled varieties.   Our pucker needs a lip balm with heft and substance!  We got you covered, Sis!  Here’s the scoop; this lip balm is $3, organic, vegan (duh), and has the following ingredients;  Organic Palm Oil, Organic Virgin Olive Oil, Candelilla Wax, Organic Jojoba Oil, Organic Coconut Oil, Essential Oil of Spearmint, Vitamin E, Grapeseed Oil, Rosemary Extract, and Vitamin C.  Good enough to eat?  It gets better; PeaceKeeper Cause-Metics is the first cosmetic line to give all of its proceeds, after tax distributable profits, to Women’s Health Advocacy and Human Rights issues. Buy some now.

Stay tuned to next weeks “Mad for the Maysles” Favorites!!!  To submit a product for review for our Favorites, email us, yo.

JEWISH ROSARIES

After seeing “Religulous,” we may feel mildly foolish wearing any religious accoutrement, but for those of you who still dare to worship, enjoy Jewish Rosaries.   When we saw our Sister Kate rocking one of these bad boys, we immediatly said “WE WANT IT!!!”  No longer the property of Christians only, you can now enjoy your very own Rosary, Shlomo.   The badass Jewess who design the line, Carlen Altman, always loved the look of the Rosary, but couldn’t bear to freak out her Grandma with a honking Crucifix.  Problem solved!  Get your hamsa on!  Navigating this site is like being on LSD in Pee Wee’s Playhouse.  Consider yourself warned.

When I got the flu last year this is how it went down;

It’s really just the monotony of being sick that’s the pain in the ass.  The rest is tolerable.  The isolation, for a social b-fly like me, requires discipline.  After the first cuddly day of movies and tea…which is quaint.. I start getting truly antsy and IM’ed my friends in desperation.  Some words of wisdom from my friends trying to placate/ Doctor me:

Karliin said: “Drink : Oregano leaf, Olive leaf, Colloidal silver, Vit C, and Zinc in a tea and don’t eat!  It slows down healing.  Just light soups and vegetable juices. Spanish influenza will be gone by tonight.”

Kendra said “garlic and onion.”  She also told me to hang upside down.  That somehow that seems to “jostle things up” and get the blood moving.  I forgot to try it.

A new friend (and raw foods chef) said

“Just sleep a lot! Lot’s of water – and keep away from solid foods especially cooked soy, and starches!  Solids meaning things you have to chew too much mainly.  You can eat soups and such…if I feel some type of sickness coming on, I avoid food so my body has an opportunity to heal itself and doesn’t expend energy on processing foods.”

What happened to FEED A COLD??  That used to be my favorite part of getting sick.  Sheesh.  Now not only do I have to practically fast, but I have to be practically dying while I do it? Lucky news is - after my Love went to the health food store and pumped me full of homeopathic remedies) and after three days of devouring enough food to feed a small Nation (screw soups only - this Jewess needs to chow DOWN) — I’m on my way to a little town called Betterville.

Lucky me, Madame Influenza waltzed into my life again last week.  I just got over a week of sneezing n’ wheezing, and lived to tell the tale.  Check out my newest flu tips ala carte;

Naturally Well advises a “wellness elixir” which you may want to drink stat! They say; “If you feel ill health coming on, brew a wellness elixir. Simmer three sliced lemons, one teaspoon freshly grated ginger, one clove freshly minced garlic, and one quarter teaspoon cayenne pepper in five cups water until the lemons are soft and pale. Strain a portion into a mug and add honey by tablespoons until you can tolerate the taste. Drinking this potent mixture of antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal ingredients three times each day can ensure your symptoms never progress into a full-blown illness.”

I missed out on this elixir, and got sick faster than a speeding bullet.  Like any bored, sick girl would; my Facebook status quickly changed to “Chloe is battling an evil bout of influenza.”

All of a sudden everyone’s a Doctor;

Ian commented;

“Hot whiskey toddy, with a touch of honey, and lemon works wonders.”

Allison advised;

“Cayenne pepper, hot water, and lemon juice. Black elderberry syrup, Vitamin C and Zinc. Oh, and lots of hugs and cuddles and cable tv and trashy mags!”

Fallopia had to chime in on that one; “

The trashy mags do it for me…almost makes me want to be sick. People don’t really believe me when I tell them that dairy makes them sick, but I used to get colds all the time, and now that I gave up the dairy, I hardly ever do.”

Susan hollered;

“Miso soup w/ scallions=cure for common cold (with no heat signs like fever or sore throat). I was pretty sick the last few day but the Obama victory really helped and tons of green juice and zinc (odorless garlic works). Chant,”Obama, Obama”. Why stop now? Use a Neti pot or saline nasal spray…..flush out that congestion. If runny nose persists….get homeopathy pills to dry nose. Zinc cough drops (constant) or colloidal silver for throat. Make yourself alkaline—–do search to get list of acid /alkaline foods. No soy/rice milk, cashew butter, even green beans—acids. Flush it out!! Astragulus - most texts say take Vit A & C.  Don’t let it go deeper like me (from running around/no sleep) …now I have a deep cough. Alison is sure right about elderberry syrup. Sambucol is a good brand.”

Ruby said;

“I find hot, oatmeal baths always make me feel good when I’m sick.”

Thanks Ian, but I’m vegan so no go on the honey, and the idea of whiskey right now makes me want to claw out my nasal passages.  Fallopia and Allison - who needs trashy mags when you have Bridezilla, TMZ, and reruns of the Janice Dickinson “Modeling” agency?

Another year, another freakin flu.  There is really nothing you can do to avoid getting a cold - and really - part of me thinks it’s actually cleansing and important to get sick once a season.  Kind of like it being normal for us to have seasons, and feel pain during our periods.  It forces you to look inwards, make lists, catch up on reading (incidentally I read a fabulous AM Homes book over the course of the week), and feel SO grateful to be “normal” again once all is said and done.

Yep, there is no cure for the common cold, but I do know a few things that alleviated my pain.  I’m no Doctor (except of Love), but I do have the instincts of a wild cat, so roll with me on this.

• Astragalus is a life saver.  Take it x3 a day when feeling sick or trying to avoid being sick.
• While you are at it; take C and Garlic (if you can’t hack eating it).  I avoid Zinc - it gives me tummy aches - but if you can stomach it do take it.
• Tea… organic and caffeine free.  You need rest - not to be peppy and hyper.
• Eat shitloads of homemade soups with a ton of garlic.  I used my daily allotment of 20 minutes of energy to make a soup a day (which I then ate all day).  I made soups with whatever fresh greens, garlics, beans, spices, and grains I had in the house - use your imagination, but add serious amounts of garlic.  I pureed in my cuisinart (once cooled) when my throat couldn’t handle soups with lots of bits n’ pieces.  As my throat got better, I moved up to chunkier soups.  I personally thought the bits of carbs from the soups (brown rice, wheat berries, potatoes, etc) gave me the energy I needed to get back and forth from the bathroom to the bedroom.  If you need something cold or sweet; resist the urge to go with ice cream.  Your bod SO doesn’t need sugar right now.  Use your blender to puree frozen berries.  Add a banana or dates and some ginger or cinnamon if you want to get funky.  My throat just asked for super cold, and this did the trick.
• Use your intuition - if your body says SLEEP - friggin’ sleep, toughguy.  If your body says Orange Juice - drink a carton.  Listen to your body.  Mine said garlic and bed rest.
• Stay cozy; wear robes and soft pjs and blankets.  Look Mummy like, and don’t walk around with a wet head of hair.  Walking around with wet hair doesn’t actually make you sick (that’s an untrue ole wives tale), but it will make you feel like doo doo.
• This is what “On Demand” tv was made for.  Use it if your Netflix is in limbo.
• Spray natural, organic nice smelling sprays or burn scented soy candles in your bedroom to avoid that stinky sick smell.
• Get someone to help you scoop the litter and walk the dogs - it can feel overwhelming when you are koo-koo-ka-flu.
• Be your own bestest Mommy or Daddy.  Treat yourself like you’d treat your kid or BFF.
• Keep everything you need close in reach (remote control, tissues, vitamins, bottled water, snacks, etc) so you don’t have to bustle around.
• Avoid most cough drops - they are just panaceas stuffed with sugar (or fake sugar which is even worse) that give you more mucus.
• Pass on the chicken soup myth. According to the American Lung Association; “Chicken soup has no power to cure a cold. However, hot liquids can soothe a scratchy throat or a cough. Hot toddies should also be avoided during a cold. Alcoholic beverages can increase the body’s chance of dehydration, and therefore make symptoms worse.”  If however, you are just jonesing for some Chicken Soup, try this much healthier (and bird approved) un-Chicken Soup Recipe that’s yummy in the tummy.  Here’s another option.   I personally think any hot, steaming soup - rich in veg and (you guessed it!) garlic - will do the trick!
• Try a Kombucha or Fresh Coconut water for natural mood boosts when feeling depressed.

Now, as I have my first post-flu day (still blowing my nose a hundred times a minute and coughing up unholy sounds), I have a new lease on life.  I know it will be a few days (maybe even a week) til I’m 100%, but that’s how it goes.  Who fed us this ridiculous bill of goods that a flu comes and goes within 3 days?  Do you really think something described by the Center for Disease Control as a “contagious respiratory illness caused by influenza viruses” is supposed to come and go as seamlessly as a visit from Aunt Flo?  CDC also says; “Healthy adults may be able to infect others 1 day before getting symptoms and up to 5 days after getting sick. Therefore, it is possible to give someone the flu before you know you are sick as well as while you are sick.”   That means, stay at home Captain Busypants.

There are Western Medicines available, of course, though I usually try to keep it holistic.  You may need a prescription if you have strep throat or an ear inflection.  And of course, you can always fall back on the band aids at the drugstore which will only mask what you have and will probably make you feel worse (though I admit to taking a dose of Theraflu  on my second day in cuz I was losing my mind and really needed to be put out of my misery).

Point is - do what feels right for you, and feel free to share your favorite flu tips below (under comments) so we can read them (knee deep in a vat of tissues) next time we get under the weaths.

Here’s to your health!!

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